Thread: online affair

You're not overreacting. It's inappropriate and there's a reason your feelings are hurt. What is his response when you bring it up?

He doesn't know that I know about that. I haven't said anything, I'm monitoring what he's doing for now. His mother knows about this and she even said not to mention it.

Well i would totally disagree with his mother - the longer you dont say anything to your husband about it, the longer his dealings with this girl are going to continue - and the longer they will continue if he feels he can get away with it.
What has he actually been saying to this girl? Is it general chit chat or is it more 'sexual talk' so to speak?

Why in the world do you and his mother share a secret about what you know about him that HE doesn't? That right there is making the intimacy between you and your mother in law higher than that of you and your husband... and should be a striking red flag to you that you should be going to him with your feelings... not her.

If he told you he'd stop with contact of her and is still keeping it.... he's lied to you and has decided for whatever reason that keeping his communication with her is necessary to him. If you could be open and honest with him about what it makes you feel like perhaps he could be honest about why he feels he needs this in his life.

It sounds like you are settling for a don't rock the boat environment... which would be fine if he wasn't rockin the boat. So you are just having to ACT... like things are fine... he is having to ACT like things are fine... and well things seem fine, so maybe you are both doing the right thing in not telling each other about the situation.

He can continue to talk to her and pretend he isn't... you can continue to pretend you don't know he's still doing it... and all is fine and good...

It ultimately is up to you, but you should not be clouding your decision making in your relationship with what his mother has to say... I have to ask why you told her about it? Her loyalty is to her son. Mothers want the best for their children and some of them will avert their eyes to problems because they don't want little johnny getting his feelings hurt and not thinking he is the center of the universe for even just one second. So use caution and take her advice with a grain of salt.

In the end its up to you, but if you wrote about it here... its hurting you. If you don't talk to him about it... he can't make an effort to at the very least help you to understand what this online relationship does for him, is it an addiction? Is it filling some sort of void in his life?

We are currently staying with her and she got cheated on by his father. She seems like, is on my side on this one. When it comes to his conversation...nothing bad now, just that he thinks about her, she on the other hand said she wants to be with him to the rest of her life. When i first found out about them i wrote to her and told her he is married. Conversations continued between them, no sex talk, no details, just that they would like to talk.