Thread: Husbands emotional affair

to Broken Wife- what you are going through is similar to what I have been dealing with for over a year, I found out last August when my first child was just five months that my husband for two years then (three years now) and partner for 14 years was pretending to about three girls that he was a single guy and changed his name, after I found out I moved out for a few days and tried to work past it..

a few months later I found out he was keeping a hidden phone just to talk to one of the girls in Ohio (we are from London, UK) and he finally admitted he had grown attached to her but promised to stop.. I again took him back and we started counselling, counselling didnt help as he was found out a further four times after this!

Finally a few weeks ago I found out again that he was contacting her (she knows he's married as I had emailed her) again with a hidden phone! I finally threw him out and we are now informally seperated until I figure out what to do..

He says it was just a 'fantasy' they were playing out, but he sent her flowers and said he loved and missed her, I just don't believe him and want him to admit he wasnt happy with me but he wont, he says all he wants is his family but he cant do if he keeps on doing this as he's taken us for granted and is only panicking now as he realises he can lose us..

He says it all came out of boredom and was something new but how can you be bored with a newborn?

I don't know if we will ever get back together, I think only time can heal us and hopefully in a few months we will both realise what we want even if its not together..

I can't help but think of all the pictures and words they shared and feel sick and am not sure if I can live a life like that.. he even said to her he was only with me for our child - when I questioned him about this he said he was lying to her to keep her happy, but how would that keep her happy? that must be the truth..

any feedback would be appreciated, sometimes I think I'm lucky as am still under 30 and can move on but also feel sad that my young family has been torn apart over a supposed 'fantasy'..

xx

I think this is one of toughest things I have experienced in my life. however the plus side is I see myself being ME again and my kids seem happier ,don't get me wrong they have there moments when they want there dad he is a good father, but I came to conclusion after counseling ,promises, and lies once it's shame on you twice it's shame on me I tried over and over to fix it and understand but at some point enough is enough and I do not want my children to think this is exceptable behavior. I truly believe he has realized "I will not always be there " and he is scared to death ,but for me it's just to late for now we have to be seperated. The other woman don't care if there married some of time as my husbands woman ALL knew it the crazy thing is they sent innapropriate pics and I am not convinced no sex was involved ,not that it matters emotional to me is far worse they take part of marriage and give it to someone else. My advice to you or any woman is if it happens once go to counseling , put into marriage I did I started putting notes in his pocket etc. second time I knew there would be a third and there was and a fourth each getting more intimate and personal . I feel as though he took a piece of our love and crushed it and when I look at him hes not the man I fell in love with and married . Best of Luck to you

So some time has passed I am moving in 2 weeks to farm and that has been a dream of mine , My soon to be ex husband tried keeping control so I went got cell on my own decided this is my fresh start second chance funny thing is when I told him he could not call all shots he is better we agreed to stay friends , we communicate better now than ever and we are doing what we can for kids , It has been hard and sharing kids not easy however this is for best for us and our kids, I stilll have no romantic feelings for him and he asked if he should move on I said yes. I see that showing your strength does make everyone better weakness not so much I know my situation is unique however I feel I made the right choice and the advice on here has been very helpfull I will continue to keep you posted I feel good and with god all things are possible.