Thread: Husbands emotional affair

Originally Posted by broken wife

Well to answer questions he states he only talks with these woman he denied anything sexual then when i gained proof said they only talked sexual he stated mostly from his end . both the fact he did this and he lied hurt however the fact he lied to my face and had to best of my knowledge always been truthfull crushed me and he said they were disscussing starting a business which involved our money. she denied this . I am not cetain if he tells them he has feeling but his text insinuate it and they talk about me . our marital issues . our sex life, my childhood. he works with and they live in his work area this came to a head about 6 months ago and I just can't get passed it . our marriage has been rocky last couple years he went to college and got a new career he was out of town more and I was pretty much single parent .agreement was when he was done with school I go every time I enroll so does he knowing I will be one to worry about kids . he also says I have wrapped myself up in kids sports etc he is right on that and says he lacks attention due to it . iIam a mom . I have to say sex life has died off a lot i am not attracted to him anymore and I need emotional before sex as a woman and he says he needs sex to feel love. I told him I cant he says what like mowing grass or something you CANT? and I know he has had lunch with one . I recently went back to work he was calling me to argue coming in and saying guys were flirting with me and accusing me of affairs. which is not true.he also started going through my phone records every day .

This clears things up a bit. I am not usually one to suggest divorve because I am about to get married and the thought of divorce eats at me. That said I think in some situations it may be for the best. I get the feeling that all the feelings of love you once held for this man has been replaced with responsibillity and obligation. He seems resentful for the lack of attention he gets because of the kids and you are obviously fed up with the lies.And no longer desire to get close to him. And lack of trust will destroy a relationship more than anything in my opinion. His actions with these women are inapropriate and you have every reason to be upset about it. I have heard that people that cheat tend to be controlling and such because they feel like if they are doing it then there partner must also be doing it and most of the time that's not the case. Perhaps a part of him feels guilty and ashamed at what he's doing and he takes it out on you. He seems to have the mentality that he wouldn't have to have these relationships if you would pay more attention to him or have sex with him more. And that's BS because no excuse is a good excuse to cheat and he has cheated ,if not physicaly, then mentally.

I grew up in a situation much like this one and it stings a little to watch you mother deal with the controlling nature. So (all of your emothions, and his emotions aside) you have to ask yourself "is this a good enviroment for my children"? because it's really hard for me to trust people now with the issues I saw growing up and has affected me later in life. And while I don't blame my mother for this I do think her actions played a part. I remember thinking 'why won't she just leave, why is she so weak?' Divorce is hard on kids but not as hard as this.

So as much as I hate to say it. it might be time to call it quits. If you have tried and tried and still the problem remains, then it is time to start over. Broken wife? I think maybe the problem is a broken Husband and you deserve better.