Future Sister-in-law drama!!

**AP10788** · 07-29-2010 07:16 AM

Everyone in my fiancé’s family revolves their life around his sister. In my opinion, it's because they fear her. I feel this way because when things aren’t about her, or don’t go her way, she has a fit and cuts everyone off.

My fiancé was very close to her so I had to spend a lot of time around her. In time, I learned who she was and started not to like her. I realized I had zero in common with her. I’m shy, I’m overweight, I’m a brunette, I don’t like to drink and party. She’s outgoing, skinny, blonde, and loves to drink and go out. When it was just her and me, we were the best of friends but when two of her cousins that she is close to would come around, I became invisible and was alienated because they’re just like her.

My fiancé’s brother’s girlfriend has more than one brawl with her. They just recently had a baby and the family was giving them more attention than her and her children. Because of the extreme amounts of jealousy, she turned everyone in the family on them. No one speaks to them besides myself and my fiancé. It’s like high school!

She’s a gossip queen. She talks TO everyone ABOUT everyone. I always knew she had bad things to say about me because I’m very different. My fiancé always brushed it off and said "She loves you she would never say anything about you." The whole family is blind to her and her manipulative ways.

While I was hanging out with my other future sister-in-law, she slipped and told me that the evil one HAS said things about me. I’m so hurt. I don’t know what to do. I expected it, but of course didn’t want it to be true. My other sister-in-law has enough problems with all of them so I cannot approach the evil one and tell her I know.

My fiancé wants nothing to do with her now or anyone in his family. As mad as I may be, I don’t want that to happen. Our wedding is in two months. All I want is peace. HELP!!

**sallyskellington** · 07-29-2010 07:50 AM

I don't think your gonna get piece unless you become fake yourself, which I am guessing you do not wanna do. I would not start trouble with her but.. if she starts with you you can finish it .I'm not saying get in a fist fight or anything but sometime the tongue is mighter then the fist. Just use words that are small and simple so she can keep up lol. In all honesty try to play nice but if she doesn't put her on the spot in front of the whole family it will serve her right.

**Olympia** · 07-29-2010 09:02 AM

AP10788,
The best advise is do not give what she says any credibility....Like you stated earlier...

While I was hanging out with my other future sister-in-law, she slipped and told me that the evil one HAS said things about me.

Others recognize. It is a shame that this goes on,
Do not let what she says influence you and your betrothed. It makes things so much worse when you allow that to happen. i have a mother-in-law that does this. I think it is unhappiness and insecurity that are at root. And it seems to involve jealousy as well. Or at least that is what i have noticed with my situation...

**sourpuss** · 07-29-2010 09:15 AM

I agree with Olympia, she dose it because she's insecure. Obviously there are people that see who she is, otherwise your SIL would not have told you.
It hard to do, but what I try in situations like this is just remind myself of how unhappy and insecure they are and not allow it to bother me. If it bothers you, you're giving her exactly what she wants. If you can walk around with a smile on your face and get along with everyone, it will eat her up inside. Don't give in to the gossipy high school stuff that she tries to pull everyone in to. Enjoy your wedding, enjoy the people in his family that you do like and don't worry about her.

**hizenberg** · 08-08-2010 01:15 AM

i had the same issue with my brothers ex wife, i had to become fake because i was honest on a few occasions,and it turned into a major nightmare. She turned family against me and spread lies about me and my partner which resaulted in her being caught out. lol it was sweet justice when she was caught out, but she learnt to be snakeir and more sly, i say be fake to her only asciate with her if you have to and dont go out of your way to be a 'buddy' to her.
but do not stand down if she is affecting your life, good luck, it sucks when that happens i know,
makes the saying 'you cant choose your family' so true huh?
lol goodluck dear

**calicogirl** · 11-25-2010 06:04 PM

my fiance was adopted...THANK GOD. so his biological sister and his biological mom play sick games of who can talk/see him the most and she flirts with him which is super creepy. she lives near where i used to live and talks about EVERYONE all the TIME. She is manipulative a she's just a generally bad person. i tried gettin along with her but she's so immature and so drama rama its impossible so i just quit talking to her. she talks badly about me to my fiance all the time but he just tells her to be quiet. you really cant do anything about it. blood is thicker than water so dont get all angsty about it with your man cuz even if he seems like he doesnt care he does and you dont want it to fall back on you. just tell her whats up and say hey look here i am not gonna put up with this. and whatever happens happens. thats all you can do. if anyone else has any better advice i'd love to hear it too! lol cuz i know how this feels

**brunettebabe** · 12-03-2010 03:56 AM

I know how you feel. My father in law is a complete a**hole . He goes around calling me bad names and says a lot of other rude things. One time my dad had to call him to yell at him for all the mean things he said. My dad doesn't like my father in law and vise versa because of the yelling. My husband of course also defends me. What makes it worse is he is an alcoholic. My father in law can also be a complete a**hole to his own son. One time when my husband's truck broke down when he was on his way home from work he first tried to call me, but he couldn't reach me because I think I was on the other line at the time so my husband then called his dad. His dad said he could help, but he needed to stop by his house first so he can collect some tools. A little later on when they were talking on the phone again so my husband could give his dad directions to where he had broke down something had happened and the call was lost. Instead of trying to call back to continue the conversation about the directions my father in law just decided to turn around, go home, fix dinner, go to bed, and leave my husband stranded. When my husband and I finally connected I drove over to the location to help. My husband ended up staying at the location for six hours and me for four hours before we were finally able to get everything taken care of.