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It means no more threesomes.
Jealousy
Okay..Here is the scoop. Over a year ago I had a threesome with my husband and his ex, also the mother of his kids, we have one together now..Now I just can't stand the girl!! I get extremely p'od whenever I hear her name. And I have these dreams about her all the time...What does this mean? Can anyone HELP!!??
It means no more threesomes.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Yea, have to agree. This is why almost every relationship expert on the planet will tell you it is a very ad idea if your in a relationship. I think what you're feeling boils down to plain old insecurity and jealousy.Originally Posted by WildChild
I think you learned your lesson the hard way that involving a 3rd party into your bedroom can create problems... bringing one in that you can't easily dismiss -- well thats obviously made things even harder.
You have to come to accept that you did what you did, for whatever reason you agreed... it happened, and there is no going back and changing that. You have to find a way to close the chapter on that episode. She's the mother of your child's siblings... she's in your life in one way or another... forever.
I would cut the ties not necessary for you guys to co-parent. In other words... no hanging out when its not a birthday or something for the kids. No extended calls for no reason... unless its related to the children. If you guys keep her in your life socially... you will just keep being reminded of what happened. So make sure that going forward she is a co-parent to husbands kids and keep her role to that.
See her as that and nothing more. The mind is capable of cripling you with insecurity... but its also capable of putting things in their proper perspective, one that you can live with. Chose the latter.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
Physcologically, your questioning his loyalty, wondering if there is still something there, after all, the person he chose to sleep with, with you, was his ex...
Only you know whether or not, he moved on from her, emotionally would never go back to her, and is happy with you..
Our mind will play tricks and it is always my opinion, if you ever are going to do something like that, a threesome, it should always be with an un-known, never to be sighted again..
It's okay to be adventurous, but there is a fine line of how you will feel after, when in-corporating someone you know, someone you have to see, or he will see, you will always doubt him...
Also, there may have been a reason why you did it. For him, not for you.. Or, to show her what your like, and that you've won the man so to speak... If that was the case, for future, never do anything you don't want to do or to prove a point.
How do you feel about him? Do you feel safe, loved, believe he isn't/wouldn't cheat on you with her?
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Thanks all of you!! I mean the startling fact is that he didn't want it to be with her. I trust him with all my heart, it's her I don't trust. Like you said I am just going to have to come to terms with what happened and move on from that experience...Thanks a lot!
If it's of any help: They've had sex together before the threesome but split up anyway. If either of them wanted it to happen it would happen before you married him and before you had a child with him. She will always be in your life in a way, her children are siblings with yours, but that does not mean that your husband feels anything for her anymore, even more so because he didn't want a threesome with her (which makes me wonder, why did you?).
It was an experience, but your husband is not to blame. Got to learn from it and move on.
We invite the lessons we wanna learn into our life. I wouldn't waste time being angry with this other woman - instead look deep within yourself to cast off your feelings of self doubt. Maybe Jealousy was something you wanted to explore and invited into your life. This woman will always be part of your life so you need to deal with this and put it behind you. I'm sure in the end you have nothing to worry about at all.
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