Perhaps I'm just in a sour mood, please ignore me.

**Casey715** · 09-08-2010 02:07 PM

I realize I am a male on a womens health site, and I will surly get plenty of negative responses, but I have to ask. I have been reading posts, and if it is a woman posting it never comes up. But let a male say he looked through his gf/wife cell phone and that is just plain wrong. It would have been one of the first questions brought up. "Why were you looking in your gf/wife's cell phone?" Any number of variations of this. I'm wondering why, if a woman does it, its OK. But NEVER is it OK for a male? Look at the post, 'Sily little lies'. She looks through her mans phone, and it doesn't even come up. But change the orientation of the poster and I almost guarantee it would have been asked. Please be kind.

**Mes T** · 09-08-2010 02:18 PM

Firstly men and women are welcome here equally, there just tends to be more women is all.

I didn't read that thread too closely but if no one mentioned that, I'm SURE that it's NOT because she's a woman. In fact I've never even considered the possibility that someone doing something like that might be more "okay" depending on their gender.

I think the general consensus on this particular forum is that snooping on someone is NOT okay, is a breach of trust, etc etc, BUT it's kind of hard to "blame" the person who snooped if he or she did end up uncovering something important.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-08-2010 02:28 PM

Now your in trouble, because now your going to get a whole lot of replies the same

Nup, snooping is wrong, we all say it, or mostly all of us do, regardless of gender..

I think I wrote on that thread or another recently, "not" to snoop, but to "ask" later down the track that you'd like to look, purely for the point of view of trust...

And Mes says it perfectly as well

Mind you there are a fair few men on here...

**LanaBear** · 09-08-2010 02:32 PM

I think you are jumping the gun just a little bit.

Most of us who have been here a while, are rather fair regardless of gender.

Besides, I honestly don't remember a man ever coming on here and saying he snooped. So I'm not going to assume (which is exactly what you are doing) that our responses would be any different.

lol - geez, give us the benefit of the doubt... Just a little.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-08-2010 02:38 PM

Ah I see..

I just went back and re-read that particular thread..

The thing is people will take the "question" that the OP is asking, and answer it, not a part of the story and say "no that's wrong" when it's not part of the question

Her question was about lies, little white lies all the time...

Certainly she found out some of the lies by "snooping" but it doesn't help her with her problem by telling her not to snoop, although we would have we not been so involved in solving the reason why he makes the lies, or trying to as that was the question

I doubt he lies because she snoops

Does that make sense?

**mrs.chrisco2** · 09-08-2010 02:58 PM

i the one who posted the silly little lies and yes i go through my husbands phonee and i do it right in front of him!! And he also goes through mine if he wants to whats fair is fair in my eyes!!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-08-2010 03:10 PM

Problem solved then where your concerned, as it's not snooping

mrschrisco2, he was only trying to find a thread to use as an example, picked the wrong one then huh, mis-understanding, I imagine that it's a personal thing, which I think we have clarified

**Casey715** · 09-08-2010 03:21 PM

You are all right. I know this site has many male followers. Like I said, just ignore me. Just one of those days and nitpicking felt like it would help. Well, it didn't. And I knew it wouldn't. Sorry.

**WildChild** · 09-08-2010 04:07 PM

IF you had the time and patience to go back through 100s of threads you will find many instances where a poster has been admonished for snooping and told that it isn't right to do so. There have been some male posters who have done so as well as women but there are more women here. Human nature being what it is, people will do it. Unless someone is really insecure or controlling, there is usually a reason that they feel a need to do this and often it is substantiatied. My first husband had affiar after affair - this was long before the era of cell phones and internet- I think I always knew when he was at it.

**WildChild** · 09-08-2010 04:08 PM

Originally Posted by Casey715

You are all right. I know this site has many male followers. Like I said, just ignore me. Just one of those days and nitpicking felt like it would help. Well, it didn't. And I knew it wouldn't. Sorry.

We've all been there