Thread: How young is to young to get engaged?

I ask because I am 17 and concidering getting engaged to a 16 year old but I am worried about what others will say about our age.

Age for engagement really varies from culture to culture. There are ones who are engaged as early as 4 through 10 years old - believe it or not!

There is no doubt people would wonder why you'd want to be engaged this soon. Have you considered all the factors that would affect you both in the long run? Studies, job, living arrangement...how long is your projection till you tie the knot, etc.

From 16/17 to 20 there would be lots of changes to both of you - a lot to do with the way you think, feel, perceive and approach situations that come your way.

May I ask you why the hurry?

There is no hurry other than a whish to commit. My girlfriend was recently kicked out of home because her parents dislike her sexuality and I would like to show her I will always be there for her.

You could still show your utmost love by supporting her in every way you can, couldn't you? I think offering to be engaged at this point could be very reassuring and comforting for both of you, especially for her, but are you really ready for it?

I got engaged at 19 with a 22 year old guy, we got married after a year. I was a "victim" of physical abuse by my eldest brother, and at that time, all I thought and felt was that what I did - getting engaged and then marrying - was the best thing to do - there was love and security. But you know, thinking back NOW, I wish I've waited. But then again, I learned a lot from that experience. Now, I'm remarried and happier than I was before.

Reflect on how much you really want to do it, whether you are truly ready - emotionally/financially. It all depends on your intentions and whether or not you are marrying her in 2 or 3 years...

Ponder, reflect, search. You have the answer. If you are sure of where you're heading, and you can follow through, go ahead ... People would wonder for sure, but for as long as you are happy and ready, considered the pros and cons...

People change a lot as they get older. Personally I wouldn't recommend committing to a long term relationship until you are settled in your life (finished college and working for example). Case by case of course there can be exceptions.

It's difficult to say what the best age for getting engaged is... It depends on people. My in-laws have known each other since they were 7 years old and got married at the age of 23. Lived happily ever after (fingers crossed!). I don't know about the age. Usually mental age means much more and if you are 200% sure you are ready and want only this person forever maybe it's ok. But these things are really difficult to predict! Especially if it's your first LOVE. I agree with rcoreyus about getting settled in your life. Because having no jobs and not being able to provide for yourselves and only relying on parents is not really a good thing. No matter how wonderful your parents are but at some point it might cause a lot of misuderstandings which can affect you, your fiancee and your families.

I got married when I was 20. That is kind of young to marry. A 17 and 16 year old too young. How will you support her?

One thing to consider is that the rate of divorce is highest among couples who married early. I think R is right. You will change so much between now and 25 yrs old that you may not recognize yourself. I admire your desire to protect her and making a commitment to her but just know the road ahead will be difficult. Are her parents unhappy because she is having sex with you or her sexual orientation?

They are right to be concerned that a 16 yo girl is sexually active, it's difficult to know who to avoid at that age and the emotions are too fragile to start having sex. ( I don't agree that they should throw a 16 yo child out of her home) If she stopped having sex would they accept her back home? Maybe you could hold off on having sex until you are both older. In 2 yrs you'll be in college perhaps you can plan on getting together then to see if you feel the same.