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Only he can tell you but it sounds like for what ever reason he is backing off. Are you financially independent of him?
Help My Fiance won't stop ignoring me.
My fiance and I have been together for nine yrs. I started going to school this fall a few days a week. It started out sometimes he would forget me or not answer the phone when I would call. For the past 2 days he has being kind of rude. Every time I try to talk to him he either ignores me or yells at me to leave him alone. We have seperate bedrooms because I snore. Anyhow he goes in his room and won't come out. I keep asking what's wrong because I know something is wrong.
A year ago we went through this and I almost left him, I did end up cheating on him but we worked through. Another odd thing is a few weeks ago after sex he said that he dosen't feel like he pleases me and that I should find another man. I am so confused and don't know whats going on. Any ideas?
Only he can tell you but it sounds like for what ever reason he is backing off. Are you financially independent of him?
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
Looks like he's a passive aggressive type and seems like he either feels wronged or trapped. Maybe it has something to do with you pursuing your goals through continuing education??
Fix the snoring problem. There are so many non-medical things, to start, that can be done to reduce or eliminate your snoring. Are you aware of them? Have you tried any? Are you a mouth only, nose only or both snorer?
we*MD is a good place to start.
It may not be the most logical place to start, with everything else that appears to be going on, but it might be a place to start.
It sounds like he has not dealt with your past indiscretion. Sounds like it is still very fresh in his mind.
Before you talk about what you want ~ Be happy with what you have
I agree with the passive aggressive statement. He sounds very much this way. He's clearly unhappy.......why is another question. It would be nice of him to verbalize what he's feeling instead of treating you like poo.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
There must be some things you say or do unconsciously that makes him taste the raw feeling of your past indiscretion. He hasn't totally let go of it yet. Give it time....try to address this when the timing is right - communicate.
What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy
The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen
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Well, so far everyone has offered something that I think all together ties in.
Passive aggressive, yes, to a degree but I don't think this is the main issue.
Past indescretion, yes. He's worried that maybe you decided to go back to school for reasons other than wanting to better yourself. Maybe a secret rendezvous? Nine years the two of you have been together, why go back to school now? I think this is eating him more than anything. Two or three nights a week you're off by yourself at school.
Something's at the heart of the lack of trust and I tend to think he's not seeing this in the same frame of mind you are.
There will always be boundries, but making love is so different, than having sex, let's face it. CW
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