Thread: dont know what i want

I new here but i need to get this out and work out what to do
for a while now i have not been attracted to my hubby in any way I love him just not in a that way anymore it's more like we are good friends, as it is im surprised that we had our last child as sex fells more like a obligation then anything else.
earlier this year i found him closing the web page down on the computer every time i walked into the room so one day i checked the browser history and found that he has been sending messages on a chat site to local and non local women he had asked one for a pic with a bit more skin even tough see was in her bra and undies already and other things as well and too this day he claims it was his nephew using his account but the times and days didn't match up to when his nephew had computer time and i also checked his account and his spelling was different and so were the type of girl he was chatting too
and then just a few months back i was woken in the middle of the night to hubbies phone going off it was a msg from some girl telling him she's off to bed and if he want to come over the she has left the gate open, when i comforted him he said he didnt know who it was so i rang her and she hung up on my and wont return my calls
for most of the year i tried to forget it all as i have been injured and need to get better but for the last month now i just cant take it any more and have been going to counseling on my own as he didnt think we needed counselling but he has came once to my app but didnt help much now i need to be able to be sexually intimate with someone but not my hubby.
we have 4 kids only 2 are with him and he is not the most helpfull hubby in the world but i dont want to kick him out as he love the kids and they need him too i want to have an open marriage but dont know how to tell him thats what i want or if it can work
has anyone been through the same thing and if so what has worked for you?