Thread: im confused has anyone else felt this way?

Unless you must marry for religious reasons... whats the rush? Relationships, in my opinion don't get BETTER because you have a peice of paper and make 'promises' in front of your friends and family. People make and break those promises every day... and people are just as capable of keeping them while not wearing a ring. I think some people want to cement their relationship with marriage... but I think its a false sense of a security... especially in a relationship with issues, thinking... oh once he marries me he will be different. You guys have been together 7 years, I think you've seen the best and worst of each other and nothing will probably change too much, especially if you have been living together all this time.

I just think it won't save a failing relationship and it won't destroy an awesome one. If you love him and your happy.. I don't see a reason to rush it, do it when you guys both feel its right... enjoy the time you have together, love him and allow yourself to be loved ... the rest is details.

hopeless dork, its not a rush. like i said its been quite a few years and he finally asked me ha. it just finally feels like that time that we want to get married and have kids and start our lives. no i dont want to have kids or anything without being married because i dont personally think that thats a wise idea. but some people do well without a husband but i want to have kids with someone i love thats going to love our kids and be a father as well as a husband.

Originally Posted by KMonte85

I know what you mean hp.. I've seen it myself with couple-friends that I have. They look like the perfect couple, make each other completely happy. And then they get married and they fight, bicker, and they insult.. seems they turn into completely different people than they were prior to marriage, and the relationship suffers, potentially even ends.

BUT - I truly believe that these people were like that before the ring was on the finger. Either they hid it from their partner to get married and then let it all out, or they were always like that behind closed doors and they just never let YOU see it until the relationship became "official". To some, there is something about marriage that makes it seem OK to belittle or take for granted a husband/wife.. like that's just what happens. But we know that isn't true.

You already know what kind of wife you DON'T want to be - you've observed it in other people. And because of that, you won't be that way... you're aware of the terrible behavior, you see it is wrong... why would you think that when you get married you'll have a change of heart and become a hag? So get married, be happy, and know that your marriage will stand the test of time because you've learned from other's mistakes by watching how horrendous their behavior is towards their spouse.

you have a good point. i know more than one person that hid the whole "hag" thing until they got married because they had weird control issues, but it just seems that eventually things fail. i guess i shouldnt worry about it so much, i havent ever done anything to wreck my relationship and i guess sometimes i get nervous that if something bad happens itll be because of me and i dont want that. i just get scared that im gonna do something wrong. i know i wouldnt but i guess its just nerves, we've been thru a LOT of stuff together and worked thru a lot of things together with only eachother for support and i dont want things to change, but you're probably right that anyone whose pushing into marriage or is acting like a *bleep* in their marriage was probably like that before hand. it doesnt really help that on sunday i watched bridezillas all day lol. i just dont wanna mess anything up i guess its normal to be nervous about getting married because unlike most marriages its SUPPOSED to be a life long commitment and thats a BIG commitment. but thank you for your insite on the matter it did make me think about some things

You know I was dreading getting married myself. When my husband proposed to me after a couple of months of relationship I was very scared and happy at the same time. Happy because I loved him and scared because I didn't know what to expect. I just thought that I didn't know HIM too well. Nearly a year after the engagemnet we got married. The night before the wedding I couldn't sleep Was awfully scared. We've been married for a year and a half now and I can say that nothing has changed. Just living together and being married is the same in our case (so far). The only differences are that I've got a ring on my finger and another surname. Being nervous is absolutely normal. I think if you have been together for so long you must know each other well enough so there wouldn't be any changes or smth. I'm sure everything will be fine! The ring doesn't change your relationship if you don't want to change anything yourselves!