International marriages?

**Moa** · 12-08-2010 08:22 AM

Do you think it's good or not so good? Obviously everything depends on people but don't you think that sometimes it can cause misunderstandings due to differences in cultures and traditions?

**KMonte85** · 12-08-2010 10:28 AM

I think there can be misunderstandings between cultures, sure. But if two people love each other enough that they want to be married, then they must understand that their spouce is from a different heritage/culture, and so should be both understanding and appreciative of those differences. They should embrace them, and take the opportunity to learn from each other. Our cultures influence the way we see and interpret the world - who wouldn't want to experience a different perspective from the person they love?

I take my parents as a perfect example of this. My mom is American, comes from a very Puritanical influenced culture in the midwest portion of the country. My father is from Holland, where the culture and trends are more liberal and personal freedoms are of utmost importance. He was there until adulthood, when he immigrated to the US for better working opportunites. While Dad was learning the English language - they met at a dance, they dated, they fell in love, they married.

45 years later they are still very much happily married, and although they DO clash once in a while (who doesn't, same culture or not?), the vast majority of the time, they have come to embrace each other's culture. If they can make it work for almost a half century, I don't see how others in similar situations can't do the same...

**jns** · 12-08-2010 07:20 PM

International marriages are great since I have one. Of course, each should do their level best to understand the others culture and language. IMHO language and culture are tightly intertwined.

**Colorado** · 12-08-2010 07:56 PM

OMG - Very good point! (great post)

My wife was not an American when we met and got married (Asian).
It takes LOTS of work and Communication to make an international marriage work out.

The most important thing is COMMUNICATION... I think this is why we (wife and I) have gotten so good at it; because we had to.

Not only are you fighting the language barrier in some cases, but also as you iterated, culture and tradition. It's always interesting to see how one very minor perceivably insignificant word/statement can be totally misunderstood by the other - simply because of the language difference.

Overall, its lots of work, but well worth it to me.

**Moa** · 12-09-2010 04:19 AM

Thank you everybody for your comments. I know what you mean when saying that love and communication are the most important things here. I completely agree with you! It's just that... I sometimes think that my husband is much more reserved than me because he is British and simply not used to discussing some things while I'm Russian and talk about anything easily

. It's not the language here, it's just the topics. We have a great relationship but from time to time it happens so that I don't get something just because he didn't tell me! Stupid arguments about tiny things! When it comes to serious problems we manage great, but insignificant ones create a lot of fuss. We've been together for 2,5 years and it has been always been like this. I know British culture and language pretty well (and love it a lot). I'm just trying to figure out whether it's a matter of different cultures or a matter of different people