I caught him cheat

**nala31** · 12-21-2010 10:23 AM

Actually I found a USED CONDOM on my sofa this morning. This dirt bag has been gone all weekend at a "friends house", he sneaks in early this morning, heads straight for the shower (which was clue one that something was up...my BF is a disgusting slob and hardly puts washing himself up in his list of priorities.) and leaves again after being home only a few hours.

While he was gone, i went to the living room to watch "Maury". Women parading their husbands on TV to give them lie detector test. I was thinking how SILLY all of that is when I look to y left and see sticking out of the sheets on my sofa A USED CONDOM!!!!!
The loose just walked in after Christmas shopping for our son. I cannot believe the nerve of this guy.
Number one he has no job!! He hasn't worked since September-Late August. He sucks in bed, always has-still does. I've told him he sucks in bed, he seriously does not care. That's why i don't have sex with him very often, because other then another baby (maybe) what's in it for me?
I seriously hate this guy. I let him move into my apartment because the dumb son of a is homeless!! He's gotten kicked out of every places he's ever stayed at and he can't hold a job anyway. This fool has a drinking problem to top it all off!

Honestly, I am not mad that he's with another woman. I really do not love him and although he is a pretty good father admittedly he is a HORRIBLE boyfriend/husband. What I am mad about is that he's taking advantage of me like this. He doesn't pay any rent, does little housework, is pretty much totally worthless. He stresses me out but everytime i kick him out he comes begging to me to let him come back and then he betrays me everytime! I cannot take the lying and . We had sex like a few days ago and a few hours after words I had a huge cold soar on my lip. I showed it to him and the rat didn't even say anything or come clean then!!!

See now my problem is that I have severe health problems. I have dialysis because of kidney failure 3x a week. The only reason i haven't kicked this jerk out for good is because i need someone to help me with my son and watch him will I have my medical appointments. I thought of running away, moving into my mothers 1 bedroom apt with my son and letting dumb dumb figure out how to pay the rent himself, since he's so friggan smart. But i don't want to break my lease

. My lease isn't up till June!! What am I going to do, try to put up with this loose mooching off of me for 6 months? Or should i just say it and break the lease?

My father is looking for a room to rent as he searches for a bigger apt. I could kick the cold soar incubator out and move my dad in, but i really don't get along with my dad either and I am not sure which is worst. My dad does have a job though and would be able to pay some rent (though my dad owes me money too!!)

Should i even confront my BF about this? Seems pretty pointless, he lies about everything, so I already know he's going to try to convince me that he did not cheat on me. That the used condom is some figment of my imagination and that i have a brain tumor or something that's causing me these hallucinate.

**nala31** · 12-21-2010 10:46 AM

nevermind about whether i should confront him or not. He grabbed me and kept trying to kiss me a few minutes ago and there was no way i was going near those lips again so I told him about the condom.

I knew he was going to lie ...but Jesus Christ! You know what his excuse was?!?! He was masturbating!! WHO THE---- MASTURBATES USING A CONDOM?! That is the dumbest thing i've ever heard! He doesn't even like to use condoms during normal sex and I usually have to force him to, yet he'll masturbate using a condom?

Well, it goes to show that he can't even trust himself!!!!! So he knows the jig is up...Now what?

**rcoreyus** · 12-21-2010 03:51 PM

While there are men who do masturbate using a condom (everyone is welcome to their own kink), in this case I doubt that is what was going on.

**Beautiful Disaster** · 12-21-2010 09:05 PM

Okay, well whether or not the condom was a result of cheating or masturbating, you admittedly do not love this man, you despise the ground he walks on. Really there is no reason good enough at this point for you to be in this relationship, health problems or not, good father or not. Gimme a break gal....what is it you're waiting for? It's one thing to be with someone and feel helplessly in love with them and let yourself be taken advantage of (which is still wrong), but when it gets to the point this has gotten with you and him, you are equally responsible because you admit you truly want nothing to do with him, don't love him, he's a dirty nasty disease infested slob....yet you're still with him, so what do you expect?

It's time to figure out a way out. Obviously you can do it on your own. It's wrong to continue on with someone you feel this way about. It's wrong for you, for him, and for your kids.

**lizzardb63** · 12-21-2010 11:19 PM

Not only do I agree with Beautiful Disaster, but don't you think most men would stray and find other pleasures if you told him he is horrible in bed and all he is good for is as a sperm donor? Perhaps that has something to do with his infedelity. I am not saying this justifies his actions, but I am sure there are two sides to each story. As beautiful disaster said, you obviously don't care to be with him, so why not get out? It's the only logical thing to do.

**KMonte85** · 12-22-2010 07:15 AM

nala, it's time for you to go. Don't worry about having to break the lease - you need to do this for yourself and for your child. Right now you're both living in a toxic situation that isn't good for anyone. You've said you're completely disgusted by this guy, and you have a couple options to get out - even if it means a small hiccup like breaking the lease.

I don't think it is worth confronting him, you know you are just going to hear more excuses and lies, so why bother? If your mom will have you, pack your bags TODAY, get you and your child in the car, and move into Mom's. What are you waiting for? This is the best Christmas gift you could give yourself.

**PandaPaws** · 01-03-2011 04:52 PM

Absolutely you need to leave this guy. I cannot believe the "masturbating with the condom" story. I have heard some attempted cover ups/lies, but that one takes the cake.

**zazzyzara5** · 02-05-2011 10:03 PM

GET RID OF HIM!

With your medical condition while i understand the problems with finding someone to look after your kid you really dont need the added stress in your life and to be perfectly frank while your son does need a father he doesnt need to be exposed 24/7 to this type of role model.

Yeah, if you just packed up and left it would be a lot easier that is YOUR home -- by the sounds of it even if you and your father dont get along this would be a better arrangment, you wont have to put up with someone you cant stand LYING, BETRAYING and TAKING ADVANTAGE of you.. NOBODY deserves that.

So just get rid of the fat lump of ****. You are clearly not happy and you deserve to be. He is perfectly capable of being a wonderful father to you son without using you and making your life miserable.

Good luck girl and let us all know what goes down xx

**OregonGirl** · 02-06-2011 05:44 AM

Honestly, telling someone they suck in bed is pretty cold. There are problems coming from both sides here.

bottom line is, it's YOUR apartment and YOU can kick him out if you REALLY wanted to.

**whit4488** · 02-10-2011 07:52 AM

ok first off, why are you even considering this man to be your boyfriend, if he fathers your child, he needs to go. and find a way to find child support it will force him to get a job, that is so unhealthy to bring around to your child. i can tell your very stressed out but you need to get your head on straight. your a mother with health issues, you need to due whats best for you and your child, the end. you cant keep making excuses for this guy who has the same patterns and is not willing to change. you need to let him go, and let him give you a sum of money monthly to help support your child. your living an unstable lifestyle, financially and emotionally. get it together!