Thread: How to get over my husband having an emotional affair?

well i find myself in the same situation as most of you. sadly im feeling the same so hurt, angry and just plain pissed. but i can only change what i need to for me. as i flat out told my husband we have been together 17yrs almost 13 yrs married. he wants to stay and work it out i dont. i honestly dont. you know i dont need it sorry isnt gonna change anything. he told me im sorry i didnt mean to hurt you, it wont ever happen again. your right it wont cause i wont be sticking around for the next time, and your only sorry i found out, not much gets past me lol. so it all started march 13th well thats when i found out. as im telling you my story its with the hope that anyone else going through this knows, yeah it really does hurt. and anyone else who thought its harmless well no it isnt. so anyway she his ex " heather" added him on facebook a long time back recently she starts popping up on chat with him late at night when me and the kids are long since in bed. whatever he wants to stay up all night can care less. so i tell him after my neices birthday party to go get milk i went and layed down with 2yr old he was tired. i fell a sleep and wake up its 10 at night wtf??? he never went to the store, i see hes chatting with her annoyed yeah. so i told him nevermind ill go hes like no ill go im like no im going now. so i see him type back to her gotta go to the store bbl, im thinking oh no he wont be. so in the car i said to him if u went earlier like i told u to and want chatting to her i wouldnt have to be out at 10 at night now. so he gets a little annoyed he goes who heather my ex, well i didnt know who she was to begin with, gotta love when your spouce gets pissy or at least he does oh how he voluteers info lol. so anyway blah blah shes an emt now and gonna be up this way an intership at a prision near here. yeah lmao i know they dont have any such thing, my own sister who i babysit her daughter is a sargent at a diff prison. yeah im not at all as stupid as he or her thought lol. k again im working on getting my rn so i am in the medical field myself, the only training you can get is hospitals and clinics not a prision near where your ex lives, duh! besides i told him i didnt ask what she does, what makes you think i even care what she does. so i said him well since shes goona be up this way take her out to dinner your only friends right? well wrong thing to say leave it at that. he goes you dont trust me etc i never once said anything about trust why you feeling so guilty. long night alot of bickering. next day hes not home, i put up the pics of my neices birthday party mostly everyone on my facebook is my family and friends i actually talk to in real life. im on his facebook i have his password, he knows. so who shows up on chat but her hmm, so shes going hey hows it goin missed ya last night. so i go looking into her a bit why not? so this is what i find.
Have you ever wished you could go back in time and do things differently? I mean seriously just turn back the hands of time and go back to when things were right... of course when you go back you take the knowledge that you have now with you. So many things would have been done differently... many many things would not have been said that shouldnt have and ALL the things that should have been said would have been. There would never have been a question on how you felt about someone because you would make sure they knew.... there would be no guessing or assuming involved. I do know... sooo many more I love yous would have been said....many more hugs and kisses would have been given.....again there would have been no questions left unanswered. Please believe me when I say if I could take back the things that were said and done I would do it in a heartbeat....However I know you can not go back... you can not change what has happened... you have to live with the decisions you have made... good or bad. If nothing else....pleaseeee always be honest and tell people how you feel.... the day will come when you wont have the chance and you will wish you didso now im like really angry like you cant figure out just who shes wanting back. so he gets home later that night. i wait till he puts down his cell phone, and when i had the opportunity i look at his contacts oh hes got her name and number bingo his $$ is so mine. so i confronted him about it, he goes yeah she asked me if i had a cell and i gave her my number and she gave me hers he tells me im over reacting oh really he wants to go there. i told him really very few people even have my cell number i dont give it out unless i plan to actually talk to them, something he didnt think i would ever know i guess. im like oh and her note an enjoyable read fowarded it in an email to my family and friends lol. he goes yeah we talked about that but i said i wish i could go back and change things to but i meant us, nice way to try to save yur $$ not buying it. anyway she emails me i wish i had saved it. alot more bickering with him i did email her back and i did save it if and when it got twisted into what wasnt said to her.
first of all you know nothing of me i dont ever plan to meet you hear from or ever have you in our lives. fyi i know a of a lot more then i ever let on.
1. im in the medical field myself, i plan on going back to school this summer, the only way to have training is hospitals and clinics summit shock there isnt. im sure there are plenty of them in middlefield best of luck with that.
2. my sister is a nys prision guard and i know what she had to do to even get into it theres no internship what so ever. sargent holms look it up.
3 summit shock had only 1 medical position open and i know your not qualified
4 i grew up in summit big shocker isnt that, i know many who work at summit shock i asked them fyi.
5. we all have exs not a one have i ever gone looking for as you did. if i ever see any of them out here or there the conversation is short and over hey nice to see you how are you hows the kid thats it i dont give out my cell or home number to them as you did.
6. david will not ever have any contact with you again. he didnt see you for who you are and what you wanted he does now, as i put it to him u wouldnt like it much if i did this to you would you. would you like it if i come looking for your husband hey maybe even he and i can be friends you okay with that.
7 dont ever again contact me dont ever again try to explain yourself i know what i know. take it or leave it its nothing to me.
8 met his ex darlene once nice girl we had a great time talking, she herself told me i thought about getting back with david but hes with you and you to seem happy exs dont go out looking and searching. i know well i would never do that its so ing wrong to interfere in an exs marriage i didnt invite you in he never intended to invite you in you come looking for a way in. take it any way you want as long as you take it you know thats what you were looking for.
since then shes even called my house my phone number is listed but she blocked it as a "private caller" a call to phone company to place a block on the line that dont allow blocked calls. worth my 2 bucks every month. so really as far as im concerned both him and her have equal blame in this. and anyone else who had been there or anyone who will find themself in this situation all im gonna say is do what you need to do for you and your kids.

That's why FB is dangerous! Your whole past is on there. I've talked to 2 old boyfriends, and it's turned my world absolutely upside down. they kind of ran their course though. But both really made me insane. Done, over, and I've unfriended the one that really got to me. I've dreamt of him for 30 years!!!!! Imagine that? But have to get over him, and when we had a conversation about our relationship, same ol, same ol, it was always me that wanted it to be more. I've had frustration dreams of this feeling all these years. First, I edited him out of my news feed, but his wifes pictures kept popping up on the right hand corner. I thought and though about it, then just got rid of him for good. Haven't dreampt about him since, and I am very happy!!!! It's interesting to face your past, it's like you can resolve it finally, put it to rest.