I dont know what to do... Should I consider leaving him?

**jns** · 01-03-2011 10:41 AM

Sometimes people can be very nice in social situations, but behind closed doors, watch out.

If I may be so bold to ask, where are you from and where are you living? Is there a cultural basis to your husband thinking he can punch you?

I have been in southeast Asia a lot and know that it is not uncommon for the man to beat up the woman. What usually happens they make up and it goes OK until the next episode. Sometimes the woman takes a knife to the man.

**rcoreyus** · 01-03-2011 06:01 PM

No one should ever hit their spouse, there is no excuse ever. Why did he say he did it? What could possibly be the reason?

Not all men are like that, really. The great majority of men would never hit a woman, especially one they loved.

I have noticed that many women seem to end up with multiple abusers, and this is statistically unlikely. I think they must somehow appear vulnerable to that sort of man, or maybe they are mistakenly attracted to some particular type of behavior.

**laulau** · 01-08-2011 07:53 PM

Haven't been on in a couple of days but I thought I should reply....

Well JNS (you bold man) we are living in Ireland and I am originally from Australia. It is the worst place to be in right now. I just want to go home! Cultural basis I don't think so... He never showed any signs of using physical or even emotional abuse we were together for 2years prior to this happening. I remember thinking as it happened "this isn't really happening" I was so shocked. He was shocked and still is, he said today. We went to a counselling session today and my was it was draining.

Everyone is saying I should leave the marriage and I have been working my way into it. I am all alone on the other side of the planet. I work 55 hrs a week as a minder looking after 4 children under 7 for a mother who is suffering from cancer at the moment.

Ahhh... what am I doing? So frustrated.

**jns** · 01-08-2011 09:58 PM

I sympathize with your situation. Being far away from a support system, being obligated by your job and then getting punched by your husband who you never thought would do such a thing.

I sincerely hope the counseling causes your husband to never punch a woman and especially you, again. I hope he learns to temper his frustration and release it in an acceptable way such as going to the gym. Has he been genuinely contrite? Has he cried from his frustration about punching you?

Are you leaning toward leaving, or are you trying to see if counseling will have any effect?

Best wishes for whatever you decide.

**pademae** · 01-17-2011 01:13 PM

Oh Sweetie, I've been in your shoes. My 1st husband was abusive to me in more ways then one. It took me 5 1/2 yrs to finally get up the courage to leave. It was a long process b/c he came after me several times and tried to end my life. Plz, get out now, find a safe place to go to and remember, you did not ask for this and this cycle needs to be broken. You deserve better and there are better out there.

**hafs1975** · 01-17-2011 09:31 PM

sweetheart i dont no you but i will say this , my second husband mentally abused me from the day the ring was on my finger (i no its dif from phisical abuse,but the scars remain the same) two and a half years later i was sectioned for a month, and nearly lost my kids , my family gave me the strength to help myself and im happier and more relaxed in myself than ever
my advice to you is to hit the ground running , pop his abusive carcus in the ditch and get your life back , your worth more , he can only abuse you again if you let him be around to do it
but this is only advise and only you can decide , i hope your guardian angel is by your side to help you very best of luck hon

**karenshiver** · 01-23-2011 05:46 PM

I am going through the same thing... I am in an abusive relationship too. I feel for you and I am sorry you are going through this and I am here for you.