Very confused :-(

**lonely girl** · 02-19-2011 09:20 PM

Ive been married for only 5 months now and things dont look too good. My husband has suffered depression before but now its back and its really bad. He tried to commit suicde a few weeks ago he feels guilty and ashamed for trying it but now hes taking it all out on me. I dont know what to do he says its mostly my fault he tried it and hes blaming me for lots of things that are untrue

. He has a child from a previous relationship and seems to think that I hate him and has told me for 2 years that he doesnt really love his son. But now he says he does and its my fault he lied because i suffered an ectopic pregnancy in my previous relation and recently found out I wont get pregnant naturally so he has to hide his feelings from me. Thats not the case I want him to get on with his son and to just include me in things otherwise how can we try be a family. But now his depresion is so bad I feel like I dont know him anymore. He says he has no feelings hes just numb and doesnt know if he loves me or wants to be with me anymore. Hes breaking my heart im in so much pain I cant eat or sleep hes just become so cold and really hurtful towards me I dont know what to do. He is happy to go talking to friends and hes even contacted the samaritans but he refuses to talk to me I feel so pushed out. I love him and want to be with him were meant to be trying IVF soon but dont know whats going to happen there now. I want to be with him but what do I do how long should I wait for him to tell me if he loves me and wants to be with me???

Sorry that was a big rant there,

**WildChild** · 02-19-2011 09:32 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Is he seeing a therapist or counselor? If so can you talk with them? It is wrong of him to blame you for this and given his mood and past attitude toward his child I would be concerned about him being alone with the child.

If you can't talk with a therapist then call the suicide hot line and see if they can provide you with some resourses. You need some back up with this. I had a suicidal ex and dealt with the on and off depression, blame and mood swings. It turned out that he was BPD. It can be really hard to keep yourself up and not get pulled into their pit.

There may be very little you can do to help him and it won't do either of you any good for you to allow him to drag you down. I find that he will happily talk to friends very telling. Do you have family or friends that you can go to?

**lonely girl** · 02-19-2011 09:47 PM

Thanks WildChild he has seen a therepist a few times last year and spoke to someone after he took an overdose and has been contacting samaritans talking about his suicide attempt. He has an appointment to see a doctor but its not untill the 1st march. I dont think he would ever do anything to harm his son. He just seems to think that by lying to me about his feelings for because of my current situation that hes protecting me but its just hurting me more that he doesnt seem to trust me. Im not going to break down because a father loves his son yes its hard that he has a child when thats what i desperatly want myself but i dont hate him. I just wish he would open to me and not his friends its horrible ive started looking at his emails and things trying to get some idea whats going on. Its stupid im now turning into someone i dont want to be. I moved away from all my family and friends to be with him so dont really know anybody i can sit down and talk to here so with him pushing me away im feeling very alone. Maybe i should go see a doctor myself and see if they can help me and stop me falling furthur into this black hole. Its just so hard lately to get an appointment with your gp.

**WildChild** · 02-19-2011 10:21 PM

I looked up Samaritans, not knowing what that was, it looks to be a local suicide prevention group. Why not contact them and see if they have any support groups for the family of people who are suicidal? I think that would be very helpful for you.

**oxy-moron** · 02-23-2011 04:25 PM

Hi

Google oilofpisces and depression- some lovely person has correlated the research links for Fish oil and mental depression into one page.
Have a read- see what you think.

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