Thread: Recovering from our worst year ever

I am looking for advice.
My husband and I are typically very happy together.....however, we have just had some devastating major life events all piled on top of each other and i'm feeling further away from him than I ever have in our 22 years together.
We are high school sweethearts who married when I was 20 and he was 22. We've now been married for 16 years. 5 years ago he lost his father which was very hard. His parents had been married for 50+ years. He spent a lot of time helping his mother through her grief. He watched his mother who he always felt was the backbone of the family; crumble into a helpless sad woman. His brother (in his mid 40's) lived with his parents and made no contributions to the household. We had hoped that he would step up after his father died and contribute financially but he did not. He continued to be a financial burden on his mother which in turn made her terribly fearful of her financial situation. My husband urged her to take out a reverse mortgage on her home since it was all paid off so that she could have some money in the bank to make her feel more comfortable. 7 months after taking the reverse mortgage, she passed away unexpectedly. My husband was thrust into a horrible situation. He'd just lost his Mother who was without a doubt his favorite person in the world. He now had to take care of her estate and figure out how to evict his deadbeat brother from the home since he was not paying any bills. Let me tell you that estate was awful to deal with. Long story short, because of the reverse mortgage we almost lost the house to foreclosure. Apparently you only have 1 year from the death to pay the mortgage back in full or the government forecloses. The family (4 adult children) had dragged their feet for so long to clean out the house that by the time it was ready to be put on the market for sale, there was little to no possibility of it being sold in time. At the last minute my husband and I had to refinance our home and purchase that one as well. It was an absolute nightmare. As soon as we had closed on our mortgages I got pregnant which was the most amazing news. This was our first child and we had tried for a long time to get pregnant, We thought it was the universe giving us a gift for all the trouble we had just gone through. But in my second trimester we lost our baby. I delivered him at home on the bathroom floor. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I had to be rushed into surgery followed by 2 more surgeries in the following months. I was severely depressed. Through all this we were juggling 2 mortgages and 2 households worth of taxes and utility bills. As if we didn't have enough stress. After months on the market we finally sold our house on December 30th. It was bittersweet. We needed to sell one of the houses, and since the house we purchased from the estate was much larger and perfect to raise a family in we'd decided to sell our home. That meant my husband and I would be living in the house he was born and raised in.
Here's where I need the advise: My husband is so depressed i'm really having a hard time being around him. I know he's been through a lot in the past few years and without a doubt this last year, BUT I've been right there with him. Our lives were completely turned upside down and up until the past couple of months we were each others rocks. He leaned on me and I leaned on him. Now he's so miserable, we bicker all the time. I am feeling really distant from him. This couldn't have come at a worst time. My Doctor just gave me the go ahead to start trying for another baby. I don't want to get pregnant when he's in such a horrible place and our marriage seems like it's going through a really rocky time. I lost my baby in July and have had to wait for my Doctor to tell me it was safe to try again. I want to be a Mom so badly and I know he wants to be a dad. He was the man every woman dreams of when she's pregnant. He was loving and attentive and wonderful. We've alway had a stong relationship. People have always told us they wish they had a relationship like ours. I'm not used of this turbulence and I'm really scared. On top of that, I'll be 37 tomorrow. Times-a-tickin' with my biological clock. It took us forever to get pregnant the first time and I don't want to wait. But I refuse to bring a child into a bad situation. What can I do to help my husband get mentally healthy again and get our marriage back on track?