Scared of losing someone near and dear to my heart.

**PinkySweet** · 03-15-2011 10:29 PM

So Ive been with my boyfriend/fiance for almost a year now. We "unoffically engaged" until he gets a ring.

We sat down on Sunday and had a heart felt talk! The problem is, my bf was going to school in Oklahoma for airplane engineering and then his loan fell through and was forced to come back home. Hes been trying to get back into college but for some reason his loan wont cover costs of school and right now working at target full time, he cant just pay it out of pocket.

He told me he feels like he should be somewhere better in his life than he his now because his sister 19years old, is going to school for nursing and his brother 28years old is a p.e. teacher and juvinile counsler. My bf is 21.... and hes honestly trying and i know hes going to be successful!

Now sunday he spoke with a army recuiter, and they can teach him airplane engineering in the army and he'd have to be active for 2 years. Thats what im so scared about! Hes spoke to me about this before that it was in his mind. i want him to do whatever he wants to lead him where he wants to be in life, but im extremely scared.

Hes been reassuring me, that if everything goes through to go that everything would be fine(no one but god knows that). He said we will get married before he goes active and i keep telling him im worried but he assures me if anything happens to him that ill be well took care of and if everything goes well(hes doesnt die) i could also go back to school. He said he wants to be able to take care of a family and even take care of me, if anything ever happened to my job. i know 20 and 21 is considered young to be getting married and being in love, but i know when the perfect person is standing infront of me and i know im ready to spend my life with him. ive never been so close to someone spiritually, emotionally and physically.

sorry for my rambling, i just felt like i needed to talk about this because im worried!
:/

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-15-2011 10:47 PM

I think if you love this man, and you KNOW he is the one for you, than you have to be willing to support his dreams. You don't want to be the one that held him back from being the best version of himself... you really don't. Millitary is scary stuff, especially in these volitile times, but everything that you are aware of , he is... and if he feels like this is something he's prepared to do, you can voice your concern... allow him to comfort you -- but in the end you have to hold him tight and let him know that you will back him 100 percent whatever he decides.

Because if he's the one for you, you want him to be happy being with you and in order for that to happen he has to be happy with where he's at in life. All the things your boyfriend mentions about wanting to square himself away with a career to be stable for you are common of most responsible men.

Its best to not influence his decision one way or the other on it, let him decide and just let him know that you are there for him this way or that way... if he's going to do it... its going to be realllllly important for him to know he has your support... the last thing he'd need to be doing is worrying about if you are going to leave him, etc... when he's facing the seriousness of that line of work. So if this is your true love, trust that God brought him into your life for good reason... and whats meant to be, will truly be.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-18-2011 02:59 PM

Fear is natural and losing someone is fear...

Just make sure that this is actually, what he wants because he doesn't have to be successful, success comes in many forms, it's not about degrees... Ask him honestly, if he is doing this for himself, his dream or if for his parents, to be successful in an area worthy, like his brother and sister, because you should always follow your dreams not someone elses.

CW

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-24-2011 03:07 PM

Hi Pinky,

How are you feeling have you spoken further to him about how you feel?

CW

**Maximus** · 03-24-2011 04:56 PM

Sharing with him about how you feel, fear, hope, how much you value your relationships.
The words you used yourself are more precise than any of mine.

Being supportive of his decision, and share with him that you trust him, and have full confidence in him achieving his goals.
There is no better way to connect to ourselves and the ones we love than feeling they want to walk with us, especially when the road ahead is not easy.

In the Eternal Instant of Now, this is what that is, and will always be.
Regardless of what Life will decide to do or not.

As always the Universe wants you to succeed.

**PinkySweet** · 03-28-2011 05:41 PM

Hey Chandlers.. Sorry I havent been on, Ive been busy busy busy!

but yes weve talked about it just about everyday! and with every discussion I become emtional, but hes super understanding and Im going to support him through all of this because hes supported my decisions in what career I wanted to be in. Hes actually off talking to a marines recuirter right now, and taking his pactice entrance test. Were going to run of the court house and get married when he passes his real test, whichs hes planning on doing at the end of summer.

I mean Im still extremely worried but hes the man I want to be with and I want to support him... But we talk about it everyday and I understand the way he feels and he understands the way I feel.... So were going to go into all this crazy **** togather.