Is Text Messaging Cheating? - Page 3

**Passion** · 05-17-2009, 10:57 PM

8 months ago I came to this site to talk about a women text messaging my husband. Six months later I am here responding to you. My husband left me and is now living with her.. I am not sayilng that is going to happen just be careful take things serious and be cautious of how you handle it.... If there is anything that you could do to stop this do it but do it in a very subtle loving way. This only coming from my experience it might not be anything but just be careful

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-18-2009, 05:42 AM

Passion, that was so un-biased for what you have been through that I know you have come such a long, long way.

This advise, is pure and from the heart but also from experience.

It is un-biased, it is saying do what you want, and it is from as i said, experience.

Don't think you could get any better advise than reality....

This is what makes me personally, love signing on to read others, tell how they feel but in a way that leaves it all up to you showing, that there is hope, or should I say a sign at the end of the tunnel...

It is the reason why we can make our own decisions in life regardless of what's thrown at us.

Life was never meant to be easy.

We have all lost and moved on.

The thing is?

When we can see it all! And, I mean it all, us, you, him, everything, it's seen diferently almost with a smile.

Because when you get there...?

You have accomplished, knowing.....that you can be you., finally., how good would that be!

I know...!!!!!! personally...

It's wicked.

Be you, let them all fall into your space, place...

Be different? Confusion follows.questioning.

Be you.

CW

MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 · 05-18-2009, 11:37 PM

You are all wonderful. My husband is older than I. I am 36 and he is 46. They knew each other for many years in Montana. I keep telling myself that he married me, if she was sooo great he would have married her...then I read all the wonderful words of encouragement and support from so many I don't even know. Thank you all so much. I am kind of a quiet person and beyond work and the 2 really good friends I have, I don't really talk to a lot of people. I was so embarrassed at what is going on that I didn't tell my friends because they are in very happy marriages and I guess I didn't want the pity kind of thing. I just typed what was going on into the little search thing trying to find answers and I found all of you...Thanks so much. I hope that I will be able to help you all out with things like you have helped me. I told my husband that I needed time and that he would end it with her. No texts and no phone calls. I told him that he had a choice his family or his past with her. He just kind of looked at me like I had grown 2 or 3 heads...it was laughable. He said he has never heard me raise my voice or get angry. I made him call her and tell her and tell her that it was over...I think he saw her for what she is...trouble. He had it on speaker phone. She said some really nasty things and when he told her that he wanted her to go away and he was having his phone number changed she became livid...she told him that no one would ever be to him what she was and that he knew deep down he wanted to be with her and I was just a sorry substitute for her. He got really mad...don't know if it was because I heard what she said or what. He told her to never contact him again and to forget him because when he hung up he would forget her. He hung up, called our cell carrier and had his number changed. I am kind of shocked. He apologized and broke into tears. I don't know if I should believe him, he has proven himself to be a skilled liar...but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Am i stupid, or just wishful thinking>..

MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 · 05-18-2009, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Passion

8 months ago I came to this site to talk about a women text messaging my husband. Six months later I am here responding to you. My husband left me and is now living with her.. I am not sayilng that is going to happen just be careful take things serious and be cautious of how you handle it.... If there is anything that you could do to stop this do it but do it in a very subtle loving way. This only coming from my experience it might not be anything but just be careful

I am so sorry as to what happened to you. How could he leave you for her...if she cheated with him, how can he trust her and how can she trust him...if he did it to you, why doesnt she think he will also do it to her? Are you ok?

MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 · 05-25-2009, 01:48 PM

Its funny I was checking email and emptying out junk and I had this----------Original Message-----
From:>
To:
Sent: Mon, 25 May 2009 9:16 am
Subject: RE: ???
Melissa, How rude and ignorant of you and that desperate to have him call me with that crock of bull. I would call him and yes he will answer. And how desperate you are to have your cell phone tracked OMG. I going to tell you something , I will leave you alone since your that desperate worried that I will come between you and John. I know he is married and is going to have a family and how you basically trapped and controlled him into your little web. However you don't have to worry I not going to show up and cause chaos in your so called family life. Just remember though he will always love me as I will for him. Just keep in mind I can show up and I will be with him but just as long as I never show up in Texas then you don't have to worry. So be happy with your so called HAPPY MARRIED LIFE because although your having his child, he's not happy with you. Someone who has to control a man this desperately is truly SICK..... I'd watch my back and over my shoulder cause you never know I could possibly show up and your LIFE will be over. Even though you have his kids doesn't mean he will love you for ever. Remember he loved me first.
JoDee from Montana

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-25-2009, 05:37 PM

Well Melissa,

As, I said in my last post to you, "nasty little thing isn't she", nothing is worse than a Woman scorned...

So, she was prepared to still "take", at that point in time when she wrote that to you and goodness knows what he has said to her?

Quote:

he's not happy with you. Someone who has to control a man this desperately is truly SICK.....

When I read the "affair" threads here, over the past 2 almost years, they are all the same, "he said he didn't love her, he wasn't sleeping with her, she was controlling, he's only there for the kids, he can't leave her, he doesn't love her, he loves me"...

When I read what she wrote to you? I see the same thing.

Your husband in my "opinon" has played a 50/50 here... He's not telling it all how it is... I believe that he has spun her words that has also kept her there.

But, I also think that she "always" wanted him, and her passion of hatred for you stems also from that.

He MUST break 100% clean and that's if you want to forgive him, because as other's can see, something is not adding up.

I am sorry sweet for all you have gone through, I imagine this message is not fresh, rather old and you constantly have to re-live this, over and over.

Is that really what you want?

Quote:

Just keep in mind I can show up and I will be with him but just as long as I never show up in Texas then you don't have to worry

So does your husband still travel?

CW

**WildChild** · 05-25-2009, 08:09 PM

I haven't respond to this thus far but have followed it. Her email sounds like sour grapes. She's mad, trying to make you defensive. Don't respond, that will let her know she got to you. It might be a good idea for you both to set up new email addresses and close out the ones she has. You can simply state in your notices to freinds that you are changing as a routine security precaution. Delete her address(es). you could block her but if she has your addresees she could set up another account and keep trying to contact you or him.

She sounds like a nut case. If you are going to make this work I would suggest that you have another talk with your husband and explain to him that you will do your level best to start fresh but that there absolutely cannot be even a hint of any more contact. Let him know that the ball is in his court and there will be reprecussions if he doesn't play straight. This woman doesn't get a birth announcement, nothing, there is zero contact.

Good luck. I have know of couples who came through something like this stronger and more united. I hope you are one of them.

MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 · 05-26-2009, 11:05 PM

I will try changing our emails. At this point I will try anything. He doesn't travel anymore. I gave him the option...travel lose our family...he gave up traveling. I am trying, but each time his phone rings I wonder. I feel like I am supposed to trust him but I can't. I used to say that trusting him was like breathing...it was natural. Well, breathing is so easy compared to this. I don't know if I will ever trust him or not think about this. This time is supposed to be happy but its not and its his fault. going to try to get some sleep. My room seems so big since I made him start sleeping in the guest room. Last night, I was up and went to the guest room to just watch him sleep, he wasn't there, I came back to my room and he was sitting in the corner on the floor sleep. I didn't wake him I just climbed in bed and went back to sleep. I asked him this morning if he was in my room, he just looked down and told me no. Why would he lie about it? Never mind all, I am getting nuts with each passing date of this pregnancy. I wanted to let all of you know that I have names for the twins....Sean and Sabra...do you think its to sssss. I thought about Sean and Siya but I thought about how many teachers would mess us per name and she would have to have a nickname or something...let me know....you are my buddies.
night all

**AlleyWay** · 06-03-2009, 01:43 AM

You need to nip this texting in the bud now. The more you allow the worse things will get.

**HALFNOTHING** · 06-03-2009, 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TNsuperteacher

I found out two days ago that my husband had been text messaging and calling a woman he met on a business trip. This has been going on for about 5 months. He swears nothing else happened--that it was just flirting. I feel like I am dying right now. We've had a great marriage and I don't know why he would do something like this.

Obviously, he has been cheating on you for 5 months and yet playing with you like he is thinking that you're a fool. If you believe him, you're a fool.. Flirting in all side with girls other than you considers cheating especially he hided about it.

swears cannot justify and validate any forms of reliability. If he did nothing wrong with his textmate, there's nothing to hide.. ok.. let say, nothing happened,but there is also a chance that they might develop their feelings from texting or something might happen in the future if you didn't found out.

based on your post, I can say, he is absolutely cheating on you.

I feel for you.. I know how you feel.. be strong.. a lot of men living in the world better than him if ever.. you can choose.. get up to see that life is easier...

05-18-2009, 05:42 AM	#22
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,910 Blog Entries: 7	Passion, that was so un-biased for what you have been through that I know you have come such a long, long way. This advise, is pure and from the heart but also from experience. It is un-biased, it is saying do what you want, and it is from as i said, experience. Don't think you could get any better advise than reality.... This is what makes me personally, love signing on to read others, tell how they feel but in a way that leaves it all up to you showing, that there is hope, or should I say a sign at the end of the tunnel... It is the reason why we can make our own decisions in life regardless of what's thrown at us. Life was never meant to be easy. We have all lost and moved on. The thing is? When we can see it all! And, I mean it all, us, you, him, everything, it's seen diferently almost with a smile. Because when you get there...? You have accomplished, knowing.....that you can be you., finally., how good would that be! I know...!!!!!! personally... It's wicked. Be you, let them all fall into your space, place... Be different? Confusion follows.questioning. Be you. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 05-18-2009 at 05:49 AM.

05-25-2009, 01:48 PM	#25
MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 6	Its funny I was checking email and emptying out junk and I had this----------Original Message----- From:> To: Sent: Mon, 25 May 2009 9:16 am Subject: RE: ??? Melissa, How rude and ignorant of you and that desperate to have him call me with that crock of bull. I would call him and yes he will answer. And how desperate you are to have your cell phone tracked OMG. I going to tell you something , I will leave you alone since your that desperate worried that I will come between you and John. I know he is married and is going to have a family and how you basically trapped and controlled him into your little web. However you don't have to worry I not going to show up and cause chaos in your so called family life. Just remember though he will always love me as I will for him. Just keep in mind I can show up and I will be with him but just as long as I never show up in Texas then you don't have to worry. So be happy with your so called HAPPY MARRIED LIFE because although your having his child, he's not happy with you. Someone who has to control a man this desperately is truly SICK..... I'd watch my back and over my shoulder cause you never know I could possibly show up and your LIFE will be over. Even though you have his kids doesn't mean he will love you for ever. Remember he loved me first. JoDee from Montana Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 05-25-2009 at 05:29 PM. Reason: Deleting his email address -

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05-17-2009, 10:57 PM	#21
Passion VIP Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: California Posts: 76	8 months ago I came to this site to talk about a women text messaging my husband. Six months later I am here responding to you. My husband left me and is now living with her.. I am not sayilng that is going to happen just be careful take things serious and be cautious of how you handle it.... If there is anything that you could do to stop this do it but do it in a very subtle loving way. This only coming from my experience it might not be anything but just be careful

05-18-2009, 11:37 PM	#23
MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 6	You are all wonderful. My husband is older than I. I am 36 and he is 46. They knew each other for many years in Montana. I keep telling myself that he married me, if she was sooo great he would have married her...then I read all the wonderful words of encouragement and support from so many I don't even know. Thank you all so much. I am kind of a quiet person and beyond work and the 2 really good friends I have, I don't really talk to a lot of people. I was so embarrassed at what is going on that I didn't tell my friends because they are in very happy marriages and I guess I didn't want the pity kind of thing. I just typed what was going on into the little search thing trying to find answers and I found all of you...Thanks so much. I hope that I will be able to help you all out with things like you have helped me. I told my husband that I needed time and that he would end it with her. No texts and no phone calls. I told him that he had a choice his family or his past with her. He just kind of looked at me like I had grown 2 or 3 heads...it was laughable. He said he has never heard me raise my voice or get angry. I made him call her and tell her and tell her that it was over...I think he saw her for what she is...trouble. He had it on speaker phone. She said some really nasty things and when he told her that he wanted her to go away and he was having his phone number changed she became livid...she told him that no one would ever be to him what she was and that he knew deep down he wanted to be with her and I was just a sorry substitute for her. He got really mad...don't know if it was because I heard what she said or what. He told her to never contact him again and to forget him because when he hung up he would forget her. He hung up, called our cell carrier and had his number changed. I am kind of shocked. He apologized and broke into tears. I don't know if I should believe him, he has proven himself to be a skilled liar...but I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Am i stupid, or just wishful thinking>..

05-25-2009, 08:09 PM	#27
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,226 Blog Entries: 5	I haven't respond to this thus far but have followed it. Her email sounds like sour grapes. She's mad, trying to make you defensive. Don't respond, that will let her know she got to you. It might be a good idea for you both to set up new email addresses and close out the ones she has. You can simply state in your notices to freinds that you are changing as a routine security precaution. Delete her address(es). you could block her but if she has your addresees she could set up another account and keep trying to contact you or him. She sounds like a nut case. If you are going to make this work I would suggest that you have another talk with your husband and explain to him that you will do your level best to start fresh but that there absolutely cannot be even a hint of any more contact. Let him know that the ball is in his court and there will be reprecussions if he doesn't play straight. This woman doesn't get a birth announcement, nothing, there is zero contact. Good luck. I have know of couples who came through something like this stronger and more united. I hope you are one of them.

05-26-2009, 11:05 PM	#28
MELISSA REYNOLDS 29 Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 6	I will try changing our emails. At this point I will try anything. He doesn't travel anymore. I gave him the option...travel lose our family...he gave up traveling. I am trying, but each time his phone rings I wonder. I feel like I am supposed to trust him but I can't. I used to say that trusting him was like breathing...it was natural. Well, breathing is so easy compared to this. I don't know if I will ever trust him or not think about this. This time is supposed to be happy but its not and its his fault. going to try to get some sleep. My room seems so big since I made him start sleeping in the guest room. Last night, I was up and went to the guest room to just watch him sleep, he wasn't there, I came back to my room and he was sitting in the corner on the floor sleep. I didn't wake him I just climbed in bed and went back to sleep. I asked him this morning if he was in my room, he just looked down and told me no. Why would he lie about it? Never mind all, I am getting nuts with each passing date of this pregnancy. I wanted to let all of you know that I have names for the twins....Sean and Sabra...do you think its to sssss. I thought about Sean and Siya but I thought about how many teachers would mess us per name and she would have to have a nickname or something...let me know....you are my buddies. night all

06-03-2009, 01:43 AM	#29
AlleyWay VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 50	You need to nip this texting in the bud now. The more you allow the worse things will get.