TNsuperteacher

I found out two days ago that my husband had been text messaging and calling a woman he met on a business trip. This has been going on for about 5 months. He swears nothing else happened--that it was just flirting. I feel like I am dying right now. We've had a great marriage and I don't know why he would do something like this.

kaylar

the first thing you need to do is relax.
It could be nothing.
For example, she might be old enough
to be his mother and their 'flirting' is
pure fun.

Of course, maybe this is not true, but
use it as truth for this minute.

REalise that your husband might be
in a pre adultery mode, and get
some adultery insurance...there's
a topic here on that.

Get that first before going any farther.

karale

Your husband was keeping this a secret from you! So if you don't think it is as far as cheating then he is a liar. And if he is a liar than who know if you can trust anything he tells you about the situation. It will take a while for you to trust again. Good luck, if you love eachother you will work it out.

seajaih

Flirting for pure fun?!!! Flirting...time away from flirting with, talking to , and enjoying his wife. If there is nothing going on why was it a secret? He already told you he is flirting with this woman. Talk about it and see what you/he wants or dump him! He should be devoting that time to his wife/family/marriage, not some other woman. Good luck to you.

__________________
seajaih

Grandchildren make my heart smile.

kaylar

When it comes to this kind of on line or on phone
texting, I need an extra piece of the pie to rule
out certain points.

The reason I'm so slow footed in this area
is due to 'Lisa'. Lisa happens to be a near
quadraplegic. She has been in a wheel chair
most of her life and only has the use of one
weak hand.

She has put a lot of macros on her electronic
communications...(she's actually a brilliant
programmer)...she's not fast, (obviously) but
excellent.

On the Internet, Lisa has created a persona
with the acrobatic skill of 'Trinity' (of the
Matrix) and as sexy and provocative as possible.

Now can you imagine a wife seeing the
flirtatious posts of Lisa on her husband's
phone, (they had worked on a game and
had this 'office marriage'...you know what
I mean?) and stomping into the office with
the "Where's the gal Lisa!" REady to kick
some very serious booty...

and there is Lisa, not looking too sexy in
her wheelchair.

Well the wife nearly dropped dead on the
spot, was never so embarrassed in her life.

Now, I'm not saying that TNs husband is
flirting with Lisa or a Lisa clone, but I'd
just like to know what his 'Lisa' looks like.

Sure, she could be all that...but I just
would want to make sure that this isn't
one of those situations.

yogurl2

Sorry But There May Be A Chance That He Is Cheating On You. Thats How My Relationshiop Started With A Married Man. It Was Just Flirting And Then We Exchanged Phone Numbers And We Worked Together And Went On Business Trips. His Wife Found The Phone Bill And Was Wondering The Same Thing You Are. Why Is Her Number On The Bill So Much For Text Messages And Phone Calls. But He Just Told Her That We Worked Together And Thats All. It Was A Mistake And I Regret It. Dont Let This Situation Go Just Because He Says Its Nothing But Flirting. Flirting Leads To Other Things. Women Know When Their Man Is Cheating Especially If Your Married To Him. If You Have A Feeling He Is Cheating Then He Probabley Is. Women's Intuition. I Feel That Text Messageing Is A Form Of Cheating Because Im Sure They Are Talking About Some Foul Things. Sorry But I Been There And Thats Just How It Goes. The Good News Is He Wont Leave You For Her. Married Men Never Leave Their Wives.

seajaih

Kaylar...I am sorry but I disagree with you. You make it sound like a woman in a wheelchair couldn't be sexy and vibrant. You make it sound like the handicapped cannot tease, flirt and otherwise entice a man away from his wife. I say that no matter what this person looks like, no matter her age or anything else, he should not be calling her and texting her.

TNSuperteacher, you need to find out what he has been doing with her for the past 5 months and exactly what they did on the business trip after he met her. AND how many times they have met since he has been back home. I don't trust him, and I don't even have to know him.

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seajaih

Grandchildren make my heart smile.

kaylar

As I now say, three times...there is a possibility
that it may not be as major as it seems.

Lisa was working on a project with X's husband.
In the office.
That's where they knew each other.
That's where they saw each other.
That is where the relationship began and ended.

Tho' the posts might...taken out of context--
looked somewhat suspicious..
the fact is they were not.

Many of the remarks concerned the game
they were working on, and many of the
'lovey' posts like...
"I couldn't survive w/o u!"
were because Lisa had caught a glitch he
missed.

So although I'd like to jump with both
feet and shout..."Yes! This is Cheating!"
Having known Lisa and the husband and
actually seeing the performance of the wife...
I would just say...be suspicious but also
a little bit cautious.

YummyMummyNat

I would flip out and confiscate his phone - the only person he could be flirting with is you!!

__________________
Oh yes, the cutting edge of police work, crunkie is spelt with an 'ie' Goody not a 'y'.
*Leader of the Neil Finn Appreciation Group*

JubesInquest

Ol dude's been keeping it a secret for 5 months, so it's not just "innocent flirting". What's up with the secret flirting? What's he hiding?

He kept it a secret for a reason.
He knew his wife wouldn't like it.

__________________
Quitters never win; Winners don't give in