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Thread: my husband only wants oral sex

  1. #1
    Junior Member Array
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    Jan 2011
    West Springfield, MA

    Default my husband only wants oral sex

    Help!! My husband and I have a great relationship. The only thing that bothers me about him is the fact that all he ever wants to do is have oral sex, he does me/I do him....but that's it. He never wants to have sex, and is never just satisfied with having sex with me. Is that normal? And also, he is constantly asking me to give him a blowjob, of course he gives me oral pleasure as well....but it gets kind of annoying. I don't know what to do about it, because there are times when I don't want to give him a blowjob, and then he'll keep hounding me and hounding me about it, I say no, then he just gets mad and storms off, leaving me feel guilty about it. And during these times when I simply do not want to pleasure him orally, I suggest that we have sex, and of course he says sure, but after I give him a blow job.......what the heck?! Will someone please tell me if they're in the same situation and what to do about it?

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array spurzzz's Avatar
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    Mar 2011
    London, UK


    "He never wants to have sex"

    "never just satisfied with having sex with me"

    "I say no, then he just gets mad and storms off"


    How old is your fella?? He must be a kid because he is certainly acting like one

    The moment he doesn't want to have sex, is never satisfied and storms off is the moment things take an upscale to being normal let alone healthy................have you sat down and talked to him about this?

    It seems like he is only interested in his own needs and doesn't really care about yours, but for sure him making you feel guilty about not giving you a blowjob? wow and there i was thinking it was a rare treat

    How about you stop giving him what he wants until he gives you what you want?

    Talk to your partner about the issues that concern you, if he still acts like a brat then he is not the best catch in the pond...................

    On the upscale, there is a chance you may give the best blowjobs in the world? So chin up -------- couldn't resist that one
    I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear!
    Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't

  3. #3
    Banned from WH Array
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    Nov 2010


    You need to communicate, talk with not talk to, with your husband about how you feel specifically. Why you need, want, desire more from him than just oral and why you want to give him more than just oral.

    Frankly, he sounds immature, insecure and selfish (IMO).

    If the two of you can't discuss it openly and honestly, then seek the help of a counselor who specializes in sexual issues.

    You should not allow this behavior, especially his whinning about not getting what he wants, to continue.

  4. #4
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Sep 2008
    Western USA
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    Been ther,e only he wasn't interested in reciprocation just BJs or HJs. In our case the problem was, as best I have been able to determine, unwillingness to connect emotionally or sexually, excessive masturbation and porn. He was perfectly able to perform intercourse but that was really too gentle and too connected.

    You can talk with him and see if you can get to the bottom of why he is intercourse adverse. Is he at all affectionate? Does he kiss? Engage in sex play/foreplay?
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

  5. #5
    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array
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    Oct 2010


    Do some research on Oxytocin. It is the human bonding hormone and I beleive it is also the human mating hormone.

    I am a male and have been trying to manipulate the Oxytocin levels in my own relationship. I have done this through massage and found that once my Oxytocin levels are high I loose interest in receiving pleasure and become more focused on providing it.
    Negotiate more cuddle and Gentle Massage time.

  6. #6
    March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array
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    Sep 2007


    Any chance he is worried about pregnancy from normal sex? Otherwise maybe he just has an oral fetish. I say "just", but it can still be a major problem if you don't enjoy the same things in bed. Have you tried suggesting that you sometimes do what he wants, but that he needs to sometimes do what you want?

  7. #7
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array
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    Jun 2009


    imo, i would try just starting with a blowjob...then sit on it! he cant say no then

  8. #8
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    Mar 2008
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    To create a tantrum, get mad at you, make you feel guilty for not doing something sexually, is that marriage?

    To never be intimate with you, touching your soul, bonding sexually as nature intended is that marriage?

    You do not have to feel guilty, he does.

    He is selfish ..

    Was it this way before you married? Because if not, then something is broken down in the marriage where he sees sex as bonding and does not want to... If mainly he has always been this way, then you have to question that.

    REALLY question that...I'll wait for your response before I delve deeper in my opinion.


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