What do i do wrong to my husband ?

**sophia1** · 04-22-2011 04:19 PM

We’ve been married for 8 yrs,no kids.im (40yrs) wanting kid so bad. My 50yrs hubby so so.He was twice married,had 3kids and had background sleeping with several women b4 me.I love him he loves me.Last nite around 8pm,he said he wanted to put sprinkle otside on n put trash in, but he never come back until 10.15pm until I found out,he was in the neighbour house accross my house sitting drinking beer by the pool with her.She lives together with a man,but her man was out of town.We just know them about month .Back at home, I was angry cause my hubby chatting with a women without her man for long time and without telling me where he was. Hubby said, it’s not a big deal, they just talked and she just wanted to share about her bad memories with her old husband who was abused to her,etc.I said at nite like this ?? Without me ??? What do you think, friend?? Am I wrong to confront my hubby not to do it again ?? But seems, my hubby doesn’t care about me even no apologize for making me waiting for 2hrs home alone. He said im so jealous n sensitive person. He keeps saying, it's not a big problem.

**Crystalblue** · 04-22-2011 05:58 PM

I wouldn't say it's wrong for you to worry, but maybe it's nothing. A calm discussion usually works better. What's wrong with you joining them to talk? Or them staying in the front yard where there's not as much privacy? I wouldn't want my husband at a female neighbor's house, especially if he didn't even tell me first. If he's hanging out in the neighbor's yard talking, no big deal, but in private? That's another story. Are you worried that y'all want different things & it's causing problems with the relationship? (kids) or do you see him as unloyal because of how many women he's been with? If your insecure tell him why. If it's no big deal, he shouldn't have a problem with a little compramise (taking u along or staying in front yard). It's always been hard for me to talk about things that are hurting my feelings, but it's so much easier for everyone when I do. Plus a huge weight is lifted, but only when it's a productive talk. Gotta be careful not to just lash out.

**jns** · 04-22-2011 10:07 PM

Originally Posted by sophia1

We’ve been married for 8 yrs,no kids.im (40yrs) wanting kid so bad. My 50yrs hubby so so.He was twice married,had 3kids and had background sleeping with several women b4 me.I love him he loves me.Last nite around 8pm,he said he wanted to put sprinkle otside on n put trash in, but he never come back until 10.15pm until I found out,he was in the neighbour house accross my house sitting drinking beer by the pool with her.She lives together with a man,but her man was out of town.We just know them about month .Back at home, I was angry cause my hubby chatting with a women without her man for long time and without telling me where he was. Hubby said, it’s not a big deal, they just talked and she just wanted to share about her bad memories with her old husband who was abused to her,etc.I said at nite like this ?? Without me ??? What do you think, friend?? Am I wrong to confront my hubby not to do it again ?? But seems, my hubby doesn’t care about me even no apologize for making me waiting for 2hrs home alone. He said im so jealous n sensitive person. He keeps saying, it's not a big problem.

Her confiding with your husband sounds like sparks could fly at any time. She's acting vulnerable, pulling him in. He's acting attentive, pulling her in. Keep a close watch on things.

Why haven't you got pregnant in 8 years? Are you actively trying to have a baby?

**WildChild** · 04-23-2011 12:08 AM

I suggest that you get to know her. Make a friend of her. Then she will have you to talk to and if hubby vanishes over there you can pop in join the party.

**spurzzz** · 04-23-2011 12:14 AM

Hi Sophia,

As JNS said: "Her confiding with your husband sounds like sparks could fly at any time. She's acting vulnerable, pulling him in. He's acting attentive, pulling her in. Keep a close watch on things."

I think you definately need to keep a lookout there and don't take it for granted. Your husband has got a history, the experience and also the character to not care what you think and how you feel.........so be careful! You are definately not wrong to confront your hubby....

Have a good chat with him because as a couple you do need that level of trust in your relationship that will not cause you to worry and argue. Just tell him to communicate more and be more open about what he is doing and of course make sure the sparks are flying in all areas of your relationship

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-23-2011 04:56 PM

Actually, it's in-appropriate for your husband to sit by a pool drinking with a female neighbour he's only known for a month, whilst her husband/partner is not home...It's what husbands fear the most..I'm away and some guy is at my house....Don't you think her partner would see it that way?

In-appropriate...so even taking your thoughts aside, tell him that and ask him to reverse it, it's you and the man across the road whilst your husband is away....

And it's disrespectful to you,2hrs, sure 5 mins chat at the front no problem but seems to me, he planned that? Just taking the trash out and putting the sprinkler on....

**oxy-moron** · 05-08-2011 11:26 PM

Well
he wasnt going to say I have been perving out the window at the Neighbors wife and I fancy my chances of getting lucky.
Maybe have a chat with her hubby when you see him next about how hospitable his wife is.