Husband left me and our 7 week old

**Pita_C** · 06-06-2011 09:19 PM

Hey everyone! I'm sort of new to this.But I didn't know what else to do.I figured typing it all down and getting advice would help me get through this.My Husband of 3 months left me and our 7 week old two weeks ago.He just said "he wasn't happy" anymore.For a while he had been acting shady...stopped wearing his wedding ring.He'd leave the house with it on and come back home without it.He started hanging out with his old best friend again.That's when it alllll started.He started being distant and going out with is friends.I've never met anyone so cold and heartless.I begged for him to give our marriage a chance but he just kept saying NO.Emotionless.I did nothing wrong for him to treat me this way.Maybe I was giving all my attention to the baby and wasn't showing him enough love..? He wasn't very affectionate himself.The same day I left for my parents he went clubbing and slept with another girl.In fact I see her car there when I drive by our apartment.It just hurts to think about him with another girl on OUR bed! Everything we worked so hard for...gone.Over his friends.I can't bring myself to understand why this has happened to me.Why he would just change his mind.He also said he just wasn't in love with me anymore.How do you just fall out of love after being married for only 3 months!!!! I'm so embarrassed. He hasn't come to see his daughter or even called to see if she needs diapers.I'm so confused and hurt.I pretend like everything is okay,when it's not.I planned on spending the rest of my life with this guy...he said we'd be together forever.This is so unreal.Idk what I should do next...I got all of my stuff out of the apartment already.His best friend moved in already! I'm supposed to go over again this week while he's at work to take everything out of the nursery

has anyone else experienced this? how did you cope..and where do I go from here? it doesn't look like things are going to get better...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-07-2011 12:09 AM

Welcome Pita,

I am so sorry you are going through all of this, especially having a little bubs to take care of and no one there for you, are your family close by?

It's hard to answer you as to why.. Perhaps, he wasn't ready for marriage, children, perhaps he still likes to lead a batchelors life, perhaps his friends have taked him around but sleeping with someone else suggests that he's not ready for marriage that being commitment.

How long were you two together before you married? And, ask yourself honestly, has he ever been there for you, did you marry because of your precious one, or because he was the man of your dreams....

CW

**athanasius1812** · 06-09-2011 12:37 PM

Here is a man's perspective.

You have mentioned every excuse he has, probably the ones he gave you. What it boils down to is this....

He is worthless.

3 months? Out of love? He is one of those man-child monsters that the real men of this world despise. He not only hurts you, he is somehow lumped in with the rest of us as if his physical appearance and age give him the right to call himself a man. Men are the ones sitting at the table with other men they respect, speaking to women they admire. These man-children are the ones sitting with guys who won't tell on them, hitting on girls they can manipulate.

If he were of any worth, he would be dealing with whatever issues there are in a responsible way. Not even seeing his 7 week old child? Sleeping with another girl immediately (and taking the chance of fathering another child when he isn't in the position to care for one)? Copping out of his responsibilities and hanging out with another guy who is willing to be "friends" with someone like him? If this were about YOU, it would be going down differently. He might still be leaving, but he wouldn't be running out. He would be ensuring the best for his child, ensuring the woman (you) was in a position to care effectively for his child (regardless of his feelings for you). If a real man thought you were unfit he would be working to gain custody and do whatever it takes to BE A MAN.

You are lucky he is gone, even if it doesn't feel that way. Far better to have it done now so that you can recover and provide your child a healthy stable home when she is old enough to be aware of her surroundings.

**WildChild** · 06-09-2011 12:44 PM

Ditto

**Texinator** · 06-09-2011 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by Pita_C

it doesn't look like things are going to get better...

It can only get better from here. Maybe he wasn't ready for the commitment of a marriage and a child, but the way he handled it makes him a deceitful coward, and that's not the kind of person to whom you want to be married. Better for him to get out of your life now, very early into the marriage, than if you had built up more of a life together and he had then come with this sort of behavior.

**Pita_C** · 06-09-2011 06:16 PM

Reading all of your answers made my day.It hasn't been very easy these past couple of days.I went yesterday to pick up our daughter's crib and the rest of her things while he was at work.He had EVERYTHING that was in her nursery by the door..he was kind enough to take the crib apart.It was horrible going back there.It brought back so many memories... I just don't understand why he would do this.I did nothing wrong to him...ever! I feel like I deserve to know why...it's killing me that he doesn't care to call about our baby.I feel horrible. Especially for her.

**Pita_C** · 06-09-2011 06:23 PM

Fortunately my family has been extremely supportive.I'm very thankful for that. We were together for seven months before we got married.Not very long,I know. We dated for two months before I found out I was pregnant.He actually admitted to me that he got me pregnant on purpose so I wouldn't leave him after I found out he cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship. But stupid me...i stayed with him because i loved him...and because i always try to see the good in people.So much for that.It just bit me in the butt!

**jns** · 06-09-2011 07:59 PM

Sorry about the situation, but I think you are better off without him.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-10-2011 04:26 PM

Pita, think of it like this.

He got you pregnant deliberately so you wouldn't leave him.

Why?

Because he already cheated on you at the beginning of the relationship.

He got you pregnant when really you were only just getting to know each other, dating really and then, recently, cheated on you again.

What does that say about this person? It's all about him...

Some beautiful guy will enter your life and will accept your baby as his, and will love you like you deserve.

Don't let him win, don't let it hurt you...He decieved you from day one....

Take care.

CW

**Pita_C** · 06-12-2011 09:04 PM

Thank you.At this point i'm just staying strong for my baby girl.I don't understand how he can already sleep with other people.Makes me sad because all I did was love him.I would never ever put anybody through this.
Again,thank you.