sad and confused :-(
Hey all I would really like your advice on my problem im having..Ok here it goes
me and my Fiancee have been together for 5 years. this last year we moved in together and now we are both trying to find a place to perminatly live together...Im staying with my folks while he is on a one month school study in another state. We will figure out were we want to live when he get's back..and were we live will depend on if he passes or not..anyway..He has had family problems for the last year and he is very emotionaly down...Well im doing the best I can to help and support him...so this brings me to my problem..He is a man that would call me all hours of the day wanting to know were i am and what im doing..or just to call to say i love you...Well..this trip he is not doing this at all infact im lucky if I get to talk to him once a day! :-(...He get's home late says he is tierd..and on the weekends goes out with other students to relaxe...I dont know how to take this..I miss him..what should i do? I dont want to ask and bug him about it..i already told him I miss him but he said to me " what do you want me to do spend all my free time talking to you".....I tell ya ladies and gents that broke my heart..i felt like a desperate fool..should I stop worrying about it and stop waiting for his calls..or should i be worried.. Thanks!
Life is short, don't waste time worrying about what people think of you Hold on to the ones that care, in the end they will be the only ones there. I truly understand how you feel I was with my husband for 8years, and I'm just barely trying to recover all the pain I been through I been seperated for 7months. Im no one to judge all I could tell you is to do what your heart is telling you to do.
I know he loves me. And to be honest the only thing my heart is telling me is that..well I would not know what to do with out him. I love him so much..I'm just feeling hurt that he is not talking to me..I know he is busy I understand that but all day not talking to me.. :-(.. Im supporting his dreams following him anywere his work may take him...I dont understand why he wont talk to me like he usually does..is this a sign of losing interest in me?
Guys tend to be that way under stress: pull back and go into their cave. If he was more mature about it, he would know that talking with you was important and would do it as a matter of course.
" what do you want me to do spend all my free time talking to you" ... well, yeah!
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
He also has been getting home late he left me a message on my e-mail at 1:30am...class ends at 8 and max it takes to get back to his temp apartment is 30 min..so 9 or 10 toget home but 1:30 am..and the only message he left was a simpe hello...thats it..Atleast i know he got home ok :-( unless he wasnt even home considering he has a lap top..
I stay home all day waiting for him to call..b/c i miss him so much i dont want to miss a call..but he never calls only leaveing me messages saying hi or hello then if im lucky talking to me for 20 min on the phone a couple days out of the week...I didnt talk to him yesterday he has not left me a message or anything today...this is the man i want to marry what is happening i dont think i give him reasons not to talk with me..i always support him in every way
lostinlove, read your last two posts
Unless he wasn't really at home
I stay home all day waiting for him to call
Don't start thinking bad things or else it will come out as accusations in your conversations or create arguements.
If he has had a huge family crisis and is studying and is away from you, he could be depressed,down and he could be going out with his mates drinking, and then crashing feeling tired, "hello"... sleep.
I can not see a guy who doesn't want to be with you even thinking of you, therefore, leaving even a message of "hello"..
Keep supporting him try to laugh with him, send him funny text messages (not expecting anything in return) visualise him laughing if he responds leave it, don't go back and forth with text messages, reply with "giggle" or something and that's it... This should pull him back a bit.
If you have told him over and over I miss you you need to call me, and he says " what you want me to spend all my spare time with you?" he may be saying you are acting different, needy and he can't cope so he's ignoring you and he can't cope because of his own issues. So changing your pattern with funny text messages and flirty text messages as well may bring him back to talking again more....Don't forget that fun and laughter are also part of a relationship and that needy can make people ignore.
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
CW your right! I should not asume anything and let him have this time for him. I'm also getting upset becasue all the people he goes out with are girls. Pools..bars..movies..and they are all woman that he hangs out with. Maybe this is why im so sad. pluse the fact that i havent talked to him in a couple days...Tonight I went out with friends to try to "get out" ..but i ended up coming home early to see if he left me a message..he did'nt
whoa wait up
How does he expect you "not" to hound him and ask for phone calls, daily if he is hanging out with girls? He's engaged?
So I assume there are "guys" there as well where he is, why is it all girls that he is hanging out with and I assume he told you this...
Don't come home early sweet, you get out there yourself and enjoy yourself . But I think it's off really hanging out with a whole lot of girls and expecting a fiance to be "okay" with that, when she is not even in that State. It would be different if he was home and had girl "friends" I don't have a problem with that...
He has an obligation, a commitment. He gave you a "promise" ring, so he "should" not string you out in anticipation, hope and waiting for a telephone call, he can still have a life...
I am not sure now if I would "assume"..you left that bit out
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
he still has not called me..yes we are engaged..and yes for sure he is with other girls. He told me him self. I asked him a couple days ago if the girls were in his car..he said yes, they all ride together...Yes of course he can have a life! If he called me or left me a message just once a day thats enouph...I want him to get out there and have fun to get all his stress off his shoulders...and at the same time you think he would want to talk to me...I just dont understand how this man that loves me so much could go a day not talking with me..
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