Thread: Here we go again

Well I decided to give my husband a chance after he had cheated on me a first time and move on and try to save our relationship. But it seems that no matter how much I love this man I can’t seem to get this relationship back on track. We went to marriage counseling almost two years into the marriage. Things were going great for a while but it started to fall apart again. Some how we started drifting apart again and we barely talk or have sex. I recently found a text from one of is past soldier where he was telling her “to be careful with the pictures and make sure to save on hard drive on secret folder because you know how my snooping wife is”. So I confronted him immediately and he told me that he has nothing with that girl. That it is in fact a male coworker that is talking to her and used my husband cell so his wife doesn’t find out. So I’m furious at this time and tell him how he can consent to that, what I am suppose t o think now that he is being an accomplice to some one cheating.

Naïve me I let it go and move on. A few months later I find out that he had register to a dating site and had been flirting with random women but only flirting. Again I was furious this time I kick him out the house and told him this could not go on this way. That he either wanted to save this marriage or he could just move on with out me. So he begged and pleaded that he wanted to come home and that he will do everything in his power to make this work. So weak me I forgive him again and give our marriage another try.

Again a few month later I find out that hi has this friend cell which he had borrow when I had broken his when I found out about the text. So I don’t pay it any importance since he’ll be getting his replacement phone in the mail in a few weeks and he did need to have a cell because of work. So its a few weeks later and his new cell arrived. A few days after that, I see that he still has this friend cell so I confronted him again and he tells me that his friend is on vacation and out of town and that is why he hasn’t returned it. However that weekend I see this mystery cell again this time is powered on so I grab it and I start looking through it. I see that on the call log that are a lot of call made to my B**t and I find that weird and immediately everything starts coming to mind and I keep getting more and more upset. Txt start coming in and when I go to read them my husband walks in on me and grabs the cell from me. I already know there is something wrong so I ask him again why he still has that phone and that he needed to give it back. He said he would but I’m feed up at this point and I tell him to call his friend in front of me and tell him to come get his phone but he refuses. And once again he tells me that his friend is having an affair and that is the cell he uses so his wife doesn’t find out. I tell him I wanted to call that number and he lets me. I talk to the girl and I asked her relationship to my husband she tells me that was (XXX) number and that she didn’t have anything to do with my husband so I let it go. I then tell my husband I don’t believe any of it and that if he wanted me to believe him he needed to call his friend tell him to come get his phone and while he was at it I wanted a that cell phone bill with his friend name on it. Of course he doesn’t have any other option but to confess to me that that cell belongs to him and not his friend but that he was not cheating on me. That his friend does use it to talk to his girlfriend and this way his wife doesn’t find out.

I’m feed up, tire of the lies and don’t know what to do. I kicked him out the house once again and told him he didn’t care about our marriage or me and that I didn’t want anything to do with him. So he left but not with out pleading on his knees for forgiveness and that he was not cheating on me. I’m not so sure that I want to let him go. I love him but I’m tire of being mistreated and disrespected in this way. He swears up and down that he loves me and he is not cheating that he was wrong for getting that cell because he was still thinking that I had cheated on him while he was deployed. And that he want us to work out but he doesn’t know how to fix it but honestly I’m feed up. What can I do? Should I give this man another chance and let him come home? Or should I just call it quits? I love him but I don’t know if I can live like this thinking that a few month later do something else.

I know this is hard and I really want this marriage to work. But as time goes on there are ties that i can’t seem to tie. Now the girl that i thought my husband was messing with i was told that this other guy is the one talking to her and not my husband. I learned that this guy was even willing to leave his wife for this woman. I confronted my husband and asked him about it. My husband has told me in the past that this guy is a dog and he has had more girlfriends than he can count; that is in fact true and that this guy is so willing to cover his that he will do anything so his wife does not find out about it. My husband swore on his son that he is not messing with her or anyone for that matter. Now i know how much he loves his son and he does everything and anything for him. This makes me wonder and i don’t know if i should believe my husband and all this information I’m getting from other people. My husband is trying to make things work. He realized that he was wrong and still loves me and will do anything to for me to forgive him and save our relationship but i have my doubts because I have been hurt so much already.