loveless marriage

**brunettebabe** · 09-12-2011 02:18 PM

mes t, i did try to answer the questions people asked and I did try to respond to their comments. I did this under the tital Loveless Marriage: part 3

**brunettebabe** · 09-12-2011 02:21 PM

also with the new post, does my husband love me, so far about three people wrote comments and none of them asked questions so real need to write back and plus i am just now just checking to see what people said so back off

**Little** · 09-12-2011 03:06 PM

Be nice to our moderators. They only want to help.

So, what do you think of the comments you've gotten so far? What are you thinking about doing to fix the situation? You've gotten advice, but we don't see the consideration you're giving it until you write back and let us know.

Sooooooo?

**orchiddreams** · 09-13-2011 02:30 PM

I can't think of any man who would deny spontaneous let alone planned sex from the person they love. Also it's quite insulting to accuse you of being infertile and getting checked when he won't do it himself. Are these new issues? Have things always been this way?

Could there be some kind of substance abuse that affects his ability to perform that he might be afraid to talk about?

So many possibilities, I would not plan to have children yet until this is resolved between you too. Do you really want to bring a child into what you identify as a loveless marriage?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-13-2011 05:08 PM

Tara, it's easy to get confused when you have started different threads on the same subject and they get merged as one to help our members answer you...Your mind may be on loveless marriage 1 and yet trying to reply to loveless marriage 3, I get that.

I wrote on your other thread regarding your husband's illness. OCD in its extreme is very difficult to deal with apart from you feeling un-loved and craving for sex, thinking you are going to get it, then you don't, its confusing and I bet you sometimes feel that you are walking on egg shells as well.

I was in a loveless marriage you don't want to go there.. If your husband is not willing to talk to a Doctor and try to get his mental illness on track, then there is no relationship for you. And, as I wrote on your other thread, in addition, you need to speak to a Doctor about his mental illness and obtain the facts about it, before trying to get pregnant, if he is "angry" with you, he will be "angry" at your child.. Please persuade him to see a Doctor and consider medication..All the running in the world and caring for his body, cleanliness is not going to help with his split personality problem..

**brunettebabe** · 09-21-2011 01:18 AM

Chandler, you were right on target in your response on my schizophrenia thread. My husband is the one with the illness. He used to take medication for it a long time ago, but stop taking it. This was way before I met him. I am not really sure what happened because I have never really talked to his family about it and he denies it so I basically don't know anything about that. People keep on telling me that his illness will get worse over time, but I don't think its true because I have been dealing with this for quite a while now and it has not been getting worse at all. Its been staying about the same. When it comes to me getting pregnant I want a baby more than anything and I wish it would happen, been trying forever, but at the same time I don't think its a good idea because of the schizophrenia. Even though I have a lot to deal with I am pretty happy with my marriage and with my life. Even though my husband has schizophrenia, might tell me crazy things, say mean things to me on an occasion because of it, and doesn't give me as much sex as I would like he treats me well and always takes good care of me. He can't help the crazy or mean things he might say every now and then. It doesn't normally bother me because I am so used to putting up with it. We also almost never argue.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-21-2011 02:39 AM

Tara you are allowed to break, you are allowed to feel un-loved.

Your situation is different you are dealing with an illness, as you state, that he can't help...He has chosen to live without medication, and you have accepted that, so in that comes those times.

This is a good place to vent, when you are not coping, but you may be best to state read "loveless marriage page 3 before commenting"

So that people know where you are coming from.

But, honey, it sounds as if, you are happy but un-happy... You deal with things because you understand them.. You so want a baby but are frightened if the gene is passed on, rightly so.

You need people to talk to, so keep talking.

I would speak to a qualified Doctor regarding your husbands gene and how that may affect your child, there is adoption as well sweet