What is going on with my husband?

**newmommy532011** · 09-09-2011 04:54 PM

I started here in Mid August. I stated that me and my husband were happy and stuff. Well all of a sudden that has changed. I haven't been on since then. Except the other day. My husband and I have been together for over 10 years and we were each other's firsts. The last month has been really weird. He hasn't shown interest in making love to me, he barely wants to spend any time with me. He wants nothing to do with me. He is always tired coming home from work. I don't think he is cheating but I am worried for our marriage. We got into a big fight over nothing last night and he says "I'll have sex with you because I feel bad..." I didn't even complain about sex because I know he comes home tired and he hasn't been feeling well...Then he says he's tired so he's about to go to bed and he says "I'll be in bed in a little" so I go out 20 mins later and I see him looking at naked woman online. :-( Idk what to do.

**Crystalblue** · 09-09-2011 05:18 PM

It sounds like y'all need to do some serious talking about what each of you is feeling. If he's doing something that's hurting your feelings, tell him. Don't make it a talk that gets out of hand and turns into a fight. Stay calm and explain what you're afraid of. If he gets defensive, you may have to calm things down until you can both talk calmly.

**rcoreyus** · 09-09-2011 10:58 PM

your username is newmommy, did you have a baby recently?

**stressed** · 09-10-2011 12:55 AM

Maybe you being out of a job and the new baby makes him concerned about finances? How are things at work for him?

Is it possible he found this forum and read something you wrote that he didn't like?

**jns** · 09-10-2011 07:08 AM

He may be looking at you as the the mother of your child instead of the sexy lover. Has the conversations between the two of you changed away from joking or teasing of a somewhat sexual nature?

**newmommy532011** · 09-10-2011 12:09 PM

Well we knows I have a forum and he is ok with it. He knows I am lonely and have no friends. We have no problems with money. Even after we had Jude, our sexual relationship was great. it just started getting weird since last month....I've tried to talk to him and he walks away....i feel something happened at work and he wont tell me....

**stressed** · 09-10-2011 01:36 PM

Since he wants nothing to do with you and never spends any time with you, you must tell him you've noticed this change. It's been a month now, so it's gone further than a thought or a suspicion and it's clearly become a fact. He cannot avoid you and if something's wrong in his life he must tell you because it's affecting you.

I think that if you ask him from time to time he'll eventually tell you. If it was something he wanted to hide he'd hide it and would look happier and less suspicious, but in this case he shows you he feels bad without saying anything about it. It could be a way for him to make you ask him about what's going on.

**orchiddreams** · 09-13-2011 02:02 PM

I don't think you should approach him in an accusatory way. Most women, myself included, would think maybe there is another woman involved. Otherwise he might get defensive, you probably want to approach it with care and concern more so for him. It might help him open up and discuss what he is feeling.

You want to provide some specific examples of why you are approaching him so he gets specific with you and doesn't dismiss your concerns with generalities.

I wish you luck.