hes leaving...

**PinkySweet** · 09-14-2011 05:21 PM

Yeah, hes leaving... My fiance was suppose to orginally be leaving March 2012 for Marine Bootcamp but 2 days ago his recruiter called saying how does he feel about leaving this next week! Of course my babe told him he was ready... So I guess Im offically jumping on the military spouse train.

So are their any other women here that have husbands in the military?

**ska1331** · 09-14-2011 08:23 PM

Both my wife and I are in the military. We're both Navy, but we aren't in the regular type. We are in Construction Battalions and are usually attached to the Marines. I have done 2 tours to Iraq and surrounding areas. My wife is currently away on advanced training, but will be home in another 3 weeks. I can fully understand the pride, anxiety, happiness and fear that comes with being a military spouse. Its hard but not impossible. I am here to offer any help and support that I can give.

**Seeker_Advice** · 09-15-2011 06:41 AM

I would just like to take a moment to THANK YOU for your service to our country and for all that you do.

Whether active military or the family of active military...the importance of the jobs you do and the roles you play are beyond words.

Thank you!

**BabyGirl** · 09-15-2011 08:54 AM

Ditto,,
Thanks to your Hubby and Thanks to You.

I live withing 50 miles of 5 Military bases and Thank each person I see in Uniform or mention the other Half is Deployed , when they come in my store or I see them when Out and About.

One thing you can do is Join a Support Forum , designed for Military Wives.
These Forums and Clubs have activities, support, Q & A discussions, and tons of things to help you in this transition.

But Don't give up Our Forum, lol.

Also, plan ahead now, to have a certain Time or Day to have contact with Hubby ( when possible ) Use Skype or another Program to keep in touch. When he goes and you have your " Lovers Meetings " on line. Try and keep all Negative out of the Convo's. He will be worried enough as it is. You want his Mind Alert, uncluttered , missing you but making sure he Comes home to you Safely .

If you have Negative stuff, come here to us or another Forum. We are all here to help. Stay Happy & Positive and soon his tour will be over .

**PinkySweet** · 09-15-2011 01:45 PM

BabyGirl, Yes Ive just recently joined a military spouse and family supportive forum, their all pretty nice! and of course Im not going to leave this forum lol. I love it to much!

and thank you Seeker and ska1331.

Ive actually have seen alot of people writing on the internet how you shouldnt marry someone in the military because it just wont work out and all this other nonsense, its total lol. Even though Ive never been with someone in the military Im confident that even through some of the sadness Ill still be happy and here waiting for him! Im really so proud that hes going to be a part of protecting and serving this country

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-15-2011 03:08 PM

I'm glad you've joined that Forum, it will be hard not seeing him, praying his safe return and love is love isn't it?

You two seem so happy together, don't listen to those as you are not, that state it doesn't work

**Cyndie32** · 09-16-2011 07:10 AM

my son is in the army. he had been in for 2 years now. he joined when he was only 19. he just got back from his first tour in iraq. it is a very honorable life. you need to be more open with your husband than you have ever been. be an open book. he will be going thru so many changes in the next few years. be ready for change. and i am so glad you have reached out for support. friends who know, friends who have been there. they will become very important to you. i am here too. i know i am coming from a little bit of a different point of view but i do know first hand how it feels to have your loved one gone. thank your husband for me. tell him i am very proud that he has made the decision to protect our country.

**rosekitten** · 09-16-2011 08:16 AM

Being married to the military is not an easy thing. I don't know why so many people think it is. It will put strains on your relationship that you never thought possible. Does the relationship work out? Sometimes. The fact is, most of the people that are saying things about how it doesn't work out, usually say so from experience. It's not a "lol" and not a joke, and it's very important to read and listen to what they have to say. Learn from other people's mistakes, don't just blow it off as "well, that's not us" because, you really don't know what you're getting into. Not seeing the one you love for months at a time is painful, at first. Then, you adapt, go out, meet people, do other things; or you wall yourself into your home and never see anybody (I've done the former, and know those who are currently doing the latter), and then your SO comes home. Readjustment is hard. Very hard. In fact, my husband is only home for 2 weeks, after having been gone for 9 months, and is going to be gone for another 4 (at least). It's hard. There are problems and issues that come up, that to him will probably seem petty, and that will make it even harder to talk about because you know he's in a stressful situation, and then you feel like your problems are petty and insignificant, when they aren't.

Marrying military is hard, please don't write off all the bad stuff as a "lol" and ignore it. It's important to process what other people are telling you, and not just the "good for you, you're so important" comments. If you take other people's experiences, process and internalize them, you can be proactive about making sure they don't happen in your relationship. But, you really do have to be aware of all the stress and problems that come up, because if you don't and choose to ignore them, it will be much harder to prevent them from happening.

**PinkySweet** · 09-16-2011 11:06 AM

RoseKitten, Thank you for your advice but Im going to continue to try not to focus on the more complicated aspect of being with a spouse in the military. Most of the people posting things on the internet are coming from a bitter place just because it didnt work out. I understand that its going to be extremely hard being seperated from him but I have a great family and friend support network. Just because its hard doesnt mean Im going to get a divorce because in my mind if Im getting married Im going to be in it until I die.

Cyndie32, Yeah Im already a open book lol. Weve been talking alot about how were feeling about him leaving for bootcamp. Honestly, Im just ready for him to leave and get his career started because its the anticapation thats killing me.

**Cyndie32** · 09-16-2011 11:14 AM

enjoy the time you have left. take pictures so you will have something to hold when your lonely. have him call your cell with a love message and save it so you can hear his voice. it's a long ride but well worth the trip. my son has it made now. he has a strong mind, strong body, and has enough money saved for a great start. it is not going to be easy but nothing in life worth while is. if you need to chat, look me up.