Living with my boyfriend sister and her child

**Justpl** · 10-11-2011 06:18 PM

Hello Everyone, for last 6 months I'm trying to make a difficult decission. My boyfriend of 2 years moved to London for work. He asked to me to join him and live comfortable life on his company expenses. I have to admit it was very tempting on the beggining. But as everything in life has a catch so is this one. His sister, who is divorced, has a child and very clumsy will live with us. She doesn't see a problem with that arrangemnt but I do. Big problem. I believe there can be only one woman of a house. And I'm so afraid o our privacy and building first new home for us. And longer I think about it I'm more convinced that I'm ready to sacrifice my relationship then live in my own he'll. Maybe one of you was in similar situation or have objective point of view. Please help!!!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 10-14-2011 08:25 AM

Would the arrangement with his sister and child be temporary? I guess it all depends on what the situation with her truly is. Can there only be one woman of the house? Ummm...... no. Just because another woman lives in your own doesn't mean she's the "boss". I do understand your worries of having a roomate interfere with your adjustment to living with your boyfriend.

Have you met her? What do you know of her?

I think it all depends on how serious you are about this relationship. If you truly believe this will be horrible for you and make you miserable, you shouldn't do it.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-14-2011 03:08 PM

Obviously, your boyfriend has a good heart... He is supporting her in a tough time but he also wants you to be there, with him. You've waited 6 months...He obviously, has a decent job and may not ever return to Thailand, have you asked him this? What happens if you don't go....

If you are prepared to lose this relationship then are you in love really?

Where would your relationship head in his eyes? You talk about a home, your home together. Is that not a step of becoming a stronger bond together and does he realise that..

Maybe you can all move to another home one that has a flat attached as he gains more from his work, there will be options but one thing to ensure is that you have a ticket home...

I would not view his sister as another woman running the home, view her as a "guest" in a home of two people together in a relationship.

You need to talk to him about all of this properly, 6 months have passed already...Feelings can go over time as well...

**Justpl** · 10-17-2011 03:04 PM

Thank you ladies for your responses. You helped me a lot!!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-17-2011 03:57 PM

We'd love you to come back and tell us the outcome

Your decision and how it all panned out..

**Justpl** · 10-17-2011 04:05 PM

I decided to stay in NY instead of going there. I have family here, job and a lot of friends. There I don't know anyone so would only have to depend on him. And I know he wouldn't give me as much attention as I would need. But thank you for very valid comments!!!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-17-2011 04:07 PM

There is someone for everyone

If your intuition suggests it wouldn't be the right move or the right person for that matter, to satisfy "each others needs" then you've made the right decision for both of you.

**jns** · 10-24-2011 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by Justpl

I decided to stay in NY instead of going there. I have family here, job and a lot of friends. There I don't know anyone so would only have to depend on him. And I know he wouldn't give me as much attention as I would need. But thank you for very valid comments!!!

Good luck on your quest for a new bf. Hopefully your ex will find someone who can live comfortably in that situation.