Thread: Husband looking at porn on my work computer...

My husband enjoys porn a lot to, and one night after he told me he was to tired to have sex with me I caught him whacking it. I flat out told him I wanted a divorce, because I cannot mentally, nor physically, handle coming second to girls he will never see. That I needed to be more important to him than porn. I told him if I'm at work and I won't be home until after you've gone to bed, then sure watch porn. Or if we can watch it together and do something together then that's fine to. But do not turn me down and then go watch some other girl, that is just not acceptable! He flipped his switch the next day when I told him how it made me feel and that I knew that body wise I'd never be able to compare to those girls.

I honestly don't think I could be married to a man who watches any type of porn, it would make me sick to my stomache! If he knows how you feel about the porn issue and is still doing it, that should say something!

I think its one thing watching porn, and another thing if it interferes with your sex life and is on your computer.

Most guys have looked at porn at some point in their lives, if not every guy (but I shouldn`t completely generalize), the problem comes when it starts interfering with your relationship or its in a place where your children could see.

For my relationship, him and I have actually watched porn together -- although we did end up spending most of it laughing. But again, there is a time and a place for it.

Watching porn when you're single is one thing, but why still do it when you're married? Some people do consider that as cheating.

Some use porn as a form of turn on. Lots of couples even watch porn together.

One simple question: Those who consider watching porn cheating, do they consider reading a dirty book cheating as well? Or a guy simply thinking and masturbating cheating as well?

I still stick with if it harms your life --- quit it. But if its not affecting your relationship, do it within reason. (and if it does hurt the other person, you need to quit it).

I'm sorry that you're going through all of this. You're so right about pornography being an addiction - and there are more couples than you can imagine who are struggling with this. It can be very challenging to overcome, but something tells me that you would like to have a more fulfilling relationship with your husband. Have you confronted him with your thoughts about this being an addiction? If you can do it in a way that isn't too judgmental, you might be surprised to find that he's ready to get help and willing to work through this - chances are, he doesn't want to be caught up in this addiction either. It sounds like you care about keeping your marriage together for your kids' sake, and I want to encourage you in that. You didn't say anything about your faith or whether or not you believe in God, but I just wanted to share an (edit) and (edit) from a Christian website that offer some great advice. Hope it helps. Stay strong and believe in the best for your family Hugs to you.

That he watches porn is one thing - that he uses your work computer to do it is another!! I would find that extremely disrespectful, as somebody already pointed out in this thread; that could have gotten you fired! I would be furious if somebody messed with my livelihood like that!
I would suggest sitting down with him and having a serious talk about this, and if nothing changes I would suggest you seek couples counseling together. When it has gone so far that you would rather be celibate than have sex with your husband, your relationship is in serious danger.