Your Best Marriage Advice

**lizzardb63** · 10-28-2011 09:20 AM

Hello All!

I am getting married next October (2012) and I thought it would be neat if everyone wrote a little note of what marriage advice you would give. I know that marriage is not a walk in the park, and if I could get some marriage advice based off of experience, that would be awesome! I also think it would be interesting to see what everyone would say!

**Crystalblue** · 10-28-2011 10:21 AM

Split everything 40/60. Giving is getting. You're entitled to half, but if you go that extra mile to sacrifice for your patners happiness, it'll come back to you ten fold in love.

**Claret** · 10-28-2011 10:26 AM

Well for me (27 years married) I'd say pick your battles -- if it's not going to matter in a year or 5 years from now, let it go.
Talk about all of this NOW, not later. . .
Keep a sense of humour - it'll get you over rough patches.
Talk about your finances, your goals, your retirement and work towards the common good, don't wrack up lots of debt.
Discuss your children, when you want them, what you want for them, how to discipline them and how many you want.
Discuss household chores, will you keep a mainly traditional house where the husband goes out to work and you stay at home and tend to the house and the children or will he stay at home and be the domestic unit OR will you share equally.
Discuss religion or spirituality -- how will this affect your household if one person is deeply religious and the other isn't, how will you bring up the children?
Discuss each others emotional needs and wants.
There are lots more I could cite here, but I'll leave room for others to add theirs.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 10-28-2011 03:20 PM

Definately before you get married, as Claret stated, know exactly each others passions, beliefs, morals, goals and core values... You need to walk into this as one yet two people that still have their own identity/ individuality.

Don't become a "Mom" once married, for what ever reason, so many women do. They go from being the fun loving girlfriend/fiance to this house wife, that constantly witches about picking up socks, putting down the toilet seat, helping around the house

Go in with hey, we are going to do things "together" that means everything, no this is your chore this is mine, rather, we just pinch in and help each other ...That will mean in my opinion that women will ALWAYS do more

But, to know that someone has made the bed, you don't have to, or has done the dishes, you don't have to, brings a smile to your face and make you love them even more.

Stay best friends, talk about your day, both not one sided...

Keep date nights, at affordability even if it's once a month, do it... You'll get into a rut otherwise...

Have lots of sex...What?

Bond and keep bonding... The day you let that fall back further again is the day, you fall into a friendship zone.

Love
Live

And be happy

**jns** · 10-31-2011 09:59 PM

Be willing to compromise on almost everything and make sure you are marrying someone who is also willing to compromise. Most marriages I have seen break apart have had some elements of an unwillingness to compromise by one or both partners. Compromising is not giving in completely to the other person's position.

**mumwithdaughters** · 11-01-2011 07:54 PM

Dont sweat the little things as Claret said. If it isn't a big deal, try and let it go and dont hold a grudge

**aniahunks** · 11-01-2011 09:47 PM

Remember that not all solution to any problem is easy to find. Sometimes, you need to work hard to find it. Or both of you should find it together. Marriage is not the end. It's actually the beginning.

**caterpillar79** · 11-01-2011 11:30 PM

All points taken and I'd say they are right. If I may add, I read about a study which found that a person's happiness level before marriage very much would tell his/her level of happiness being married. That is saying, marriage (enhances your happiness level or) makes you happy but you will still feel that loneliness/depression (if any) that has been there prior.

Having said that, my advice is for you to keep pursuing your own happiness first and then his. By doing so, you help him indirectly by helping yourself first because the man (by nature) is captivated by a woman's ability in making herself happy and content. As a result, both of you can keep bringing new things into the relationship.

Congratulations!