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Reply With QuoteAsk him how he would feel if you started talking about the size of your ex's packages.
Fishing for compliments and when they back fire.
Me and Bear were being goofy the other night and it went from great to shitty, for me atleast. I'm petite and I have a small chest so I said, "This is the downside to having a really skinny girlfriend" His response was, "Not true (insert exs name here) is only 30 lbs heavier than you and she has some big badongas."
I felt like after he said that....I dont know how to tell him how bad and insecure he made me feel.
Ask him how he would feel if you started talking about the size of your ex's packages.
Bear has a good size package though, hes the biggest guy I've been with and hes aware of that already.
I wouldn't let it bother me, or even mention it. He is with you isn't he ? If he wanted Big Badongas in his SO, he'd be with someone with Big Ones, don't ya think ?
Next Time when " fishing for Compliments ", Firstly, don't ever be " Negative " about Yourself or attributes or lack thereof. Or give him an opening to Compare you with an Ex.
Secondly, if you want compliments, all you have to do is dress sexy or cook his favorite Dinner.
A Natural, not dragged out of him ..
"
Wow Baby You look Hot or Baby you sure can Cook " .
Should boost your ego and make you feel Loved and Appreciated for who you are..
He did not " Make " you feel Insecure , sweetie, You took it that way personally. I'm sure he did not mean it to hurt or make you feel bad, he just replied, probably Honestly, with the facts of his Ex's Shape and Weight.
Though had he been thinking with a bit more sensitivity and thought of how you might take it,he would have followed with " Yours are just Perfect the way they are " and possibly even got a lil suckling going on .. lol
But Men are Men and few are as in tune with how us women react. So let it slide, go plan a Sexy Night and get some Compliments that are Honest reactions from him, for your Positive attributes.
Raina,
Somestimes guys really do say dumb things. They don't really think like a woman thinks and sometimes we're a bit sensitive. For example, I have been trying to get in shape for a trip to Mexico in 5 months and my wedding in 9. I was saying "Gosh, Sam (one of my bridesmaids) is really skinny!" and he goes "You will be too some day." I could have taken that completely the wrong way. I could have thought "Really?? Is THAT what you want?" and gotten upset, but instead I thought about who he is, and his personality and what he REALLY meant was "I know you're working really hard and I have confidence in you that you'll accomplish your goals"... he loves me just as I am, but its MY insecurity that makes me think negative. He never once said he had a problem with my size. I am thinking its a similar situation with you and your boyfriend. Sometimes we gotta take it with a grain of salt and chalk it up to our men just saying stupid things. lol
~Today, any person can fight the battles of one day It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's- yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us therefore, live but one day at a time.~
I need a whole thing of salt sometimes. I was just showing him some nice looking dresses I'd is wear in public and he said to one of them, "You need boobs for that" I told him thanks and he goes,"What? I'm a realist." The jerk face. ><
If you're one of those gals that makes fun of yourself for having a small chest, then it's quite common for the other person to jump in on it. My ex used to make fun of himself for his height all the time. I never thought much of his height. But he did it so much in front of me and his friends, that everyone he knew started picking on him because of his height and I Would even find myself making little jokes now and then. He had strong self confidence, so he handled it well. But not everyone is like that.
That may not be the case here at all. If you're not the type to bring it up alot and make an issue of it, yet he makes regular comments about it, I'd simply tell him to stop. Tell him that when he brings it up in the way he does, it's perceived as a flaw when it is in fact NOT a flaw. Tell him that you feel like you are a beautiful woman, and you are happy with your size and that you're tired of it being brought up in reference to clothes, ex girlfriends, etc. It's insensitive.
And he may be the biggest guy you've been with, but trust me he's not the biggest there is. You could still make comments about other guys bulges or if he tries a certain position say "This position is really better with guys who are bigger....sorry just being a realist". Okay don't say that, but you get my point.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
You never want your partner to need to be careful about what they say - no one wants to feel like talking is walking through a mine-field. An intentionally cruel comment is of course terrible, but I wouldn't worry about a flip comment that was not meant to be hurtful.
As far as breast size, you need to remember that it REALLY doesn't matter to a oot of men, in fact quite a few (including me) aren't very attracted to large-breasted women. If he makes comments suggesting that your breasts are not as large as some other women's, it is probably because it doesn't matter to him, so he didn't think it would matter to you.
From a guy...
We say things frequently with zero meaning behind them... You gals often take things we say to mean something else or you read too deep into what we've said.
If you're offended, hurt or upset by what he said, be direct and tell him "you hurt me" or "you upset me" with what you said the other night about my chest, etc. While he probably hasn't forgotten it, he also may not think it's a big deal because you have not been honest with him.
Men can't read minds...and we need the dots real close together in order to see a line.
So be direct and let him know how you felt when he made the comment.
Also don't forget that he loves you...just you...just the way you are!
I think the guys are giving you great advice.
Fellas...I'd just ask that you please oh please remember that our breast size is often a similar issue to us as your penis size is to you. If you were "smaller than avg" and knew it, and your signifcant other said things about it regularly, compared you to other guys......it would probably sting a bit. Or at least I'd think so. Some things should just be off limits to say, from a common sense perspective.
"Be what you're looking for."
"The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."
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