Thread: Should I divorce him???

I met my husband when I was 10 years old. He was 12. We met in a church. His family moved to our community and our families became very good friends. He has 3 brothers and I have 2 so I was the only girl of the two families. My husband's mother adopted me early on as the daughter that she always wanted. Well at the age of 16, he and I were married. I love him very much and always have. He is my best friend and always has been. We have three grown children and four grand daughters who will love without hesitation.

So you may be asking why does she ask "should I divorce him?" The reason is simple. I have Multiple Scloerosis. I was diagnoses 10 years ago while serving in the US Navy as an officer. I am a nurse, or I was a nurse. I went to college after all my children were born and to day I have two masters degrees and am one year shy of a Ph.d. Wow...I must be smart they say, well not really I have always worked hard and now my mind is clouded with the reality that I can not work anymore, that I am in a wheelchair most of the time, I am incontinent most of the time or I have to cath myself. I have gained 50 lbs since every other month for the past 10 years I have been on steriods to cause the excerbations to stop. I am not the women I was when he married me or even 10 years ago. I am not able to do much around the house and he takes care of me most of the time. We are able to have sex and we are still rather active in that area. He worries about me all the time. I am no longer the mother...I have become the child. I no longer drive so leaving the house is next to impossible.

Now that you know alittle bit more about me, do I need to say more about the question? I ask him to leave and he says no. I feel so quilty that this has happened to us both and that his life does not have to change just because mine has. He says he loves me and he can't leave me a lone. I know he loves me but I believe that he is wishing he could have a life like we had before. My point is that if I just take the decision out of his hands, then he could find someone else, the kids would not blaime him, and he could have that life he deserves. I deserve it also, but that is not going to be my path. So now you know the story as long as it is.

So I ask, if you were in my shoes and you loved your husband more than life it self, is it selfish to allow him to stay, and wouldn't it be better to help him get a new life without me as a burden. It is that simple. Should I divorce him or not. He is a good man. He deserves a life.

Originally Posted by jean

I want to thank you for responding to my thread. I have been so worried about this issue for a couple of years now and have not had any one to talk to about it. Thank you for understanding our situation. And thank you for puting my mind at ease about whether I am being selfish or not. I still feel very guilty, but I can't change the fact that I have MS. It is my pathway now, and I don't want to belabor that issue, but I do want to say thank you very much for all your kindness and advice. It gives me something to tell myself when I begin to feel very guilty about this. Jean

Just let your husband have the honor of showing you the love he promised you when you both took your vows.

Why do you feel guilty? You didn't make yourself sick.
Be happy you have someone that cares deeply for you... I'm happy for you, too!