Wow....it sounds like a made for tv movie! You sound like a great women...and you deserve to feel loved and respected. You shouldnt have to live day to day feeling worried. Do what is in your heart.

Well, I have an update. When my husband decided a few weeks back that he was going to move out to 'find himself', I thought I would just sit and wait until it happend. Thankfully, I have begun to regain what I've lost since this whole ordeal began and decided to get the information myself instead of waiting for it. I cornered him and asked if he had chosen a date to leave. I also asked if he was considering the move a temporary or permanent one. He chose temporary. However, I decided I needed to set a condition. I told him that I loved him very much and that I was still going to fight to save the marriage. BUT, if he did not consider individual and couples counseling while he was 'away from home', he should consider the move a permanent one. I also brought up the blatent disrepect that I was receiving from his relationship with this woman and that needed to stop. I was calm but visiably upset when I gave him my condition and, moved by my words, he agreed that he would start counseling next week. He also said that he would discontinue the disrepect. Not sure what the later of that means but it's a start. Since I've show this moment of 'who-I-used-to-be', he has shown some signs of 'who-I-fell-in-love-with-in-the-first-place'.

I realized that I have been cowering for months, which was so out of my character. I have never been one to hide during battle, but out of complete fear of losing him, I have been. He has been trying to blame me for our problems and for the last few months, I researched that as potential issue. Well, after careful consideration, extensive research along with professional and non-professional support, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not the problem. So with that, I still have hope that he will go to counseling, as he has promised, starting next week. Maybe it will curtail his choice to move out and hopefully his eyes will open and return to admiring me again, and not this other woman.

Thanks for the kind words and support.

You know, I've thought about this, like everything else and I feel that the relationship has not quite peaked to the point of a physical affair. If he moves out, the risk of that happening are much greater and I'm going to do the best I can to handle that situation. If my worst fears come to fruation, I can't stop it and I will do what I need to protect myself and my assets (I'm worth more than he is). If they do have an affair, I'll know without having to do much. I have many wonderful friends who are in the grapevine. His career would be ruined if he becomes an adulterer and I don't have to tell him that, he's well aware of it. If she is worth the loss of his wife and career, (she is not by the way and I say that with complete confidence). They can have each other. I'm just glad this is happening now, in the first year of our marriage and not ten years from now. Though if we get through this, who is to say it won't happen 10 or 20 years from now, when I'm no longer young.

Thanks for your honesty and advice. Information like what you have provided should be a separate topic all together.

*laugh* I wrote a poem about this situation, which he found through manipulating it out of a friend I had sent it to. He has, in the past, held it up as a trophy of my disrepect to him. Until I know the outcome of this story, I'm going to keep my poem(s), there are two, supressed for my husbands sake. However, if it does not work out, you may hear my poem put to music one day being played on the radio as an anthem for all who are going through the exact same thing.

After hearing part two of your situation....WOW....so proud of you for standing up for yourself! Just hearing your story will make me a stronger person!!! I hope to never hear the poems (meaning your relationship works out!!)
You are really an inspiration to all women that need that extra push to stand up for themselves!!!