why is my fiance acting like this?please help any1 b4 i go crazy

lauren2007 · 08-16-2007, 07:40 AM

i have been wih my partner nearly 2 years. at the beginning our sex life was great. but since we moved in togetha everythings changed. we have sex about 2-3 times a month, i want it more but he says he is always nackerd off work (he works 9-5 mon-fri). we never have oral sex b4 sex because he cant be botherd and claims that quickies is the best for lads. but what about me?in the past ive always give him oral sex but he wont do it 2 me, he says thers nothing wrong with me down there, its nice and clean he just wont do it coz his tounge hurts. he never turns me on jus carreses me breasts and thats it! i want more than that. i dunno if i should leave him coz its a big deal 2 me or if im just being selfish like he says i am.i love him so much we are engaged and trying 4 a baby and i everything in the relationship is great apart from the sex life. when i talk 2 him about it he says thats all i think about and hes sick of me going on. i always feel rejected. please help any1

lauren2007 · 08-16-2007, 09:13 AM

need help quick

**housewife** · 08-16-2007, 09:27 AM

Men don't read our minds,

so stop arguing with him about your needs what you have to do is
to take actions slowly and nicely during sex,

take his hand and put where you want
move his head toward the spot you want
show him are love that and enjoy it
men cooperate during sex not during arguments

lauren2007 · 08-17-2007, 04:27 AM

he dosnt listen though. ive moved his hand numerous of times n he just says behave. and ive dressed up 4 him a few times and he wasnt really interested, jus kept playn on his xbox. he said i turned him on but he didnt want 2 do anything because he was n middle of his game.and the other times he just cant b botherd.it just sumtimes makes me think hes goin off me.he dosnt make a effort its always me who starts off sex.if i didnt he would b happy without it i think.

**housewife** · 08-17-2007, 10:10 AM

you and him are not on the same page,
there must be something going on here.
maybe he has a physical problem that made him does not desire sex as before.

maybe there is some problem in your relationship such as you don't communicate well with each other.

maybe you need to dig deeper and see what is the problem. normally guys don't act like, I don't consider what he says or what he does normal.

the big ed · 08-30-2007, 05:24 AM

I have a similar problem to yours. I on the other hand am starting to wonder if my hubby is getting it elsewhere. I love sex and have a high drive, he used to aswell but now the only way I can get him to do it is if I throw on porn, and even that doesn't work consistently. My self esteem is taking a beating, I am attractive, but I am wondering why he doesn't want me. do you have similar feelings?

renfroe1012001 · 11-06-2007, 07:16 AM

I have the same problem. We use to have sex 3 or four times a week now it is hardly any and he always looks at porn..... I don't know what the problem is I can throw myself at him and I get nothing as a result. I don't know why he is like this he says I am good at what I do but he doesnt' want to ever have sex with me anymore. I dont know how to handle this maybe he just doesn't love me like he use to do....... I know that I am not the prettiest person in the world that is a fact. . .. . . I don't know why he doesn't want me anymore. . . . . . . All he wants is the porn he has. . . . . not me

**rcoreyus** · 11-06-2007, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lauren2007

i have been wih my partner nearly 2 years. at the beginning our sex life was great. but since we moved in togetha everythings changed. we have sex about 2-3 times a month, i want it more but he says he is always nackerd off work (he works 9-5 mon-fri). we never have oral sex b4 sex because he cant be botherd and claims that quickies is the best for lads. but what about me?in the past ive always give him oral sex but he wont do it 2 me, he says thers nothing wrong with me down there, its nice and clean he just wont do it coz his tounge hurts. he never turns me on jus carreses me breasts and thats it! i want more than that. i dunno if i should leave him coz its a big deal 2 me or if im just being selfish like he says i am.i love him so much we are engaged and trying 4 a baby and i everything in the relationship is great apart from the sex life. when i talk 2 him about it he says thats all i think about and hes sick of me going on. i always feel rejected. please help any1

(from a male poster) Many men really enjoy pleasing their partners. Unless there is something else going on that isn't obvious from your posts, he seems very selfish - No, not just selfish. I really enjoy pleasing my wife - and while there is nothing wrong with an occasional "quickie", long intimate sex is much better. Yes, performing oral can leave my tongue a bit stiff for a day - but whenever I notice the stiffness, it acts as a very nice reminder of what we did.

This sounds like a serious issue to me. I'd very strongly suggest that you stop "trying for a baby" until you work things out. What if you can't work this out - do you want to have to choose between taking a child away from its father, or living in a marraige with a miserable sex life.

Sadly your situation sounds a bit like mine, with the genders reversed. My wife generally just wants something "quick", and can't be bothered to do much for me. Its been many years now, and it hasn't gotten better. Please - don't wait and hope for things to get better, they probably won't.

There are lots of very nice men out there. I don't think you are being selfish in wanting a good sex life - it is very important.

**rcoreyus** · 11-06-2007, 08:42 AM

Oops, just noticed I replied to a very old thread. Well, I'll leave it up, but it is pretty obsolete now.

08-16-2007, 07:40 AM	#1
lauren2007 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: uk Posts: 13	why is my fiance acting like this?please help any1 b4 i go crazy i have been wih my partner nearly 2 years. at the beginning our sex life was great. but since we moved in togetha everythings changed. we have sex about 2-3 times a month, i want it more but he says he is always nackerd off work (he works 9-5 mon-fri). we never have oral sex b4 sex because he cant be botherd and claims that quickies is the best for lads. but what about me?in the past ive always give him oral sex but he wont do it 2 me, he says thers nothing wrong with me down there, its nice and clean he just wont do it coz his tounge hurts. he never turns me on jus carreses me breasts and thats it! i want more than that. i dunno if i should leave him coz its a big deal 2 me or if im just being selfish like he says i am.i love him so much we are engaged and trying 4 a baby and i everything in the relationship is great apart from the sex life. when i talk 2 him about it he says thats all i think about and hes sick of me going on. i always feel rejected. please help any1

08-16-2007, 09:27 AM	#3
housewife August 2007 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 412	Men don't read our minds, so stop arguing with him about your needs what you have to do is to take actions slowly and nicely during sex, take his hand and put where you want move his head toward the spot you want show him are love that and enjoy it men cooperate during sex not during arguments __________________ *house*

08-17-2007, 10:10 AM	#5
housewife August 2007 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 412	you and him are not on the same page, there must be something going on here. maybe he has a physical problem that made him does not desire sex as before. maybe there is some problem in your relationship such as you don't communicate well with each other. maybe you need to dig deeper and see what is the problem. normally guys don't act like, I don't consider what he says or what he does normal. __________________ *house*

11-06-2007, 07:16 AM	#7
renfroe1012001 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: savannah Ga Posts: 20	same problem here I have the same problem. We use to have sex 3 or four times a week now it is hardly any and he always looks at porn..... I don't know what the problem is I can throw myself at him and I get nothing as a result. I don't know why he is like this he says I am good at what I do but he doesnt' want to ever have sex with me anymore. I dont know how to handle this maybe he just doesn't love me like he use to do....... I know that I am not the prettiest person in the world that is a fact. . .. . . I don't know why he doesn't want me anymore. . . . . . . All he wants is the porn he has. . . . . not me

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08-16-2007, 09:13 AM	#2
lauren2007 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: uk Posts: 13	need help quick

08-17-2007, 04:27 AM	#4
lauren2007 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: uk Posts: 13	he dosnt listen though. ive moved his hand numerous of times n he just says behave. and ive dressed up 4 him a few times and he wasnt really interested, jus kept playn on his xbox. he said i turned him on but he didnt want 2 do anything because he was n middle of his game.and the other times he just cant b botherd.it just sumtimes makes me think hes goin off me.he dosnt make a effort its always me who starts off sex.if i didnt he would b happy without it i think.

08-30-2007, 05:24 AM	#6
the big ed Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 3	I have a similar problem to yours. I on the other hand am starting to wonder if my hubby is getting it elsewhere. I love sex and have a high drive, he used to aswell but now the only way I can get him to do it is if I throw on porn, and even that doesn't work consistently. My self esteem is taking a beating, I am attractive, but I am wondering why he doesn't want me. do you have similar feelings?

11-06-2007, 08:42 AM	#9
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,742	Oops, just noticed I replied to a very old thread. Well, I'll leave it up, but it is pretty obsolete now.