angel21988

Hi i'm 18 years old. I have a 10 month old beautiful daughter and HAD a fantastic fiance.

You see me and my partner have been together for nearly 2 years and at first the relationship was good. We decided to have a baby and everything seemed great. But during the pregnancy i became really sad and depressed and anytime i tried to talk to my bf he would moan. After my daughter was born i suffered depression and i still do. I used to think about killing myself every day and tried to overdose a few times. I lost touch with all of my friends and i feel i have knowone to talk to and my fiance just doesn't want to listen.

Then he started to shove me when we had an argument and has now moved to trying to strangle me. He has never properly hit me though.

Now for my birthday my dad scrimped and saved to buy me a lap top to help me with college andi found that my bf has been using it while i was in bed and my 10 month old daughter was lying sleeping next to him to watch porn.

I have real confidence and self worth issues which plays a big part in my depression and he knows this. And just as i was getting a bit better he has done this.

He says he is soo sorry and will never do it again and has relised what he will lose, but i don't trust him.

I'm still young but afraid to be a single mum. He made me all these promises.

I have called off our engagement and now i am just trying to figure out what to do with my life.

I'm not a ****** little girl, i wanted so much out of life. Now i don't know wether i should forgive him or leave and hpe that one day my prince will come.

My fiance was my first and i wanted it to be with someone special.

What should i do?

hotdogg

something is seriously wrong here!

he does'nt listen too you, he shoves you, he has tried to strangle you! this does not sound like someone who loves you!

plus what the was he thinking looking at porn with your daughter asleep next to him! that is being plain irresponsible!

i would sooner be a single mum than be treated like that.

rosewater

My heart and prayers go out to you. Are you both living alone together? Do you have family with you? Please talk to someone, family,mom,or dad, or sister,or friend,or cousin. You need support right now. My friend is married and just had her second baby at the age of 24. She also had Postpartum blues after her last baby. She felt the same way as you, she opened up to me and her husband about it. He helped her to get help for it and talk about it. I think she is taking med's now. It's just temporary not long term but you should seek help.You sound like a smart girl and this guy isn't "evil" but he needs help for his anger and stress. You should talk to someone or your Dr. If you dont want to do it for you then do it for your baby. He/she already loves you and wants you to be around for a long time.
Goodluck and God bless you and your family!

Postpartum Depression and the 'Baby Blues' -- familydoctor
What can I do to help myself?


If you have given birth recently and are feeling sad, blue, anxious, irritable, tired or have any of the other symptoms mentioned here, remember that many other women have had the same experience. You're not "losing your mind" or "going crazy" and you shouldn't feel that you just have to suffer. Here are some things you can do that other mothers with postpartum depression have found helpful:

• Find someone to talk to--and tell that person about your feelings.
• Get in touch with people who can help you with child care, household chores and errands. This social support network will help you find time for yourself so you can rest.
• Find time to do something for yourself, even if it's only 15 minutes a day. Try reading, exercising (walking is good for you and easy to do), taking a bath or meditating.
• Keep a diary. Every day, write down your emotions and feelings as a way of "letting it all out." Once you begin to feel better, you can go back and reread your diary--this will help you see how much better you are.
• Even if you can only get one thing done in any given day, this is a step in the right direction. There may be days when you can't get anything done. Try not to get angry with yourself when this happens.
• It's OK to feel overwhelmed. Childbirth brings many changes, and parenting is challenging. When you're not feeling like yourself, these changes can seem like too much to cope with.
• You're not expected to be a "supermom." Be honest about how much you can do, and ask other people to help you.
• Find a support group in your area or contact one of the organizations listed below. They can put you in touch with people near you who have experience with postpartum depression.
• Talk with your doctor about how you feel. He or she may offer counseling and/or medicines that can help.

alibaby

Hi Angel21988.

I agree that you need support to deal with your depression and if you feel that you can't talk to anyone about it, start with your doctor. He/she can give you some direction regarding how to get the help you need.

But your bf shoves you and tried to strangle you...you should not tolerate that! You are at the beginnings of domestic violence! He obviously is having his own issues and he needs help too. I know that you said that you don't want to raise your baby alone, but do you want to raise your child with someone that doesn't respect you and feels no shame in watching porn (and doing God knows what else) in front of his own child (baby or not)? If I were you, I would get myself and my baby out of that situation...maybe move back home with my parents until I can figure out what I want to do. If you both think your relationship is worth saving, find a good couples therapist to work with you together while you're separated. We all want our first loves to last forever, but the reality is that many times it doesn't work out that way. Don't waste your early years being someones 'punching bag'. You have to do what's best for yourself and your baby.

Loris1

Could I say, working in this area for thirty years, you would benefit from getting some medical help at this time. Seems like the stress thing is near overload.
Please dont feel akward about seeking advice, we all need help every now and again, for you it seems like now, but things will get better - depression is treatable, we do it all the time, just as there will be times you can help others.
So many of the several hundred people I have met who are depressed think that what is happening now - will be the same always in the future - this is never true, no one has a crystal ball and you can still look forward to better times - no matter how bleak you feel now. Be wise, get help, and the length of your depression will shorten.

Take care of yourself .. your worth it. The relationship can improve, once the kettle is off the cooker a while - getting help now - maybe for both of you, will take the steam away.

The other posts are IMO are all excellent advice