Holy shiznat. It makes sense! I thought you had all these viewpoints on life because you're a good storyteller and you know how to relate to problems, but it's all because you're a lawyer and you have clients that have issues...

It all makes sense now. -lightbulb-

Hi Kaylar,

Thanks for the info. Yes, it is a very archaic and victorian law, however it still exists in the Southern States within the U.S.A. The movie of the real life couple happened to have been married and resided in South Carolina.

With the elevated divorce rate within the USA from infidelity, perhaps this Victorian law should be brought back as a "scare tactic" to deter spouses and "the other woman" or "the other man" from breaking up a marriage. Somebody needs to be made accountable.

What is the divorce rate in Jamaica? Just curious!

Kaylar: You are very knowledgeable. I found myself going far back on your posts trying to figure out what sex you were. However, I found too many pages and I would get confused constantly. Man or woman. Finally I settled on man. I am not up on the law and divorces and such. I have been blessed with a peaceful and wonderful marriage. This age I am at is the most confusing of my life. I thought I would be old and look at life in the past tense but I am alive and more in want of all the pleasures then I have ever been in my life. And I don't know why. This is the most confusing time of my life. Everyone around me wants to act old but not me. I have this pocketful of dreams and I pull one of them out every so often and walk down my Yellow Brick Road of life.......Now you take care.

C

When I first began to post here I sort of gave a mini-autobio
so that people would understand that I'm not making things up
nor guessing, but have some experience.
I am a woman.
I am an Attorney at Law in Jamaica.

I wrote The Legal Position of Women in Jamaica
which had my government make an amendment to
the nationality Act, and a number of laws
were passed; based on the findings including
The Domestic Violence Act, (which I worked on)
The Family Property (Rights of Spouses) Act (which I drafted)
and a few other laws.

I have been involved in Women's Issues for most of my life.
I'm not that old, however.

When I read a post, i.e. about adultery or domestic violence
which are my two main areas, (most of my clients have one
or both of those events as the basis for consultation) I often
respond because none of the events I post about are invented.
The names are changed and the particulars, but the facts are
as the facts are.

I've always known that Kaylar was a lawyer ... I always thought it was really big of her to spend time on a forum like this giving advice to people who really needed it.
I've never been involved with a married man, but I've been in the "other woman" position more than I'd like to remember. The last time was the first time I posted on this forum and Kaylar answered ...
It was like a slap in the face, what you said. But you were so right. I was selling myself short and believing the price to be fair.
I'm not sure I agree with that "Alienation of Affection," but if you could "sue" a person so that they would be considered a criminal who had to see a psychiatrist ... I think that could do a great deal of "other women" some good.

When I first started to practice law, the situations were all
new and unique. Then, a pattern emerged until it was as if
I could write the statement from 'memory' although I'd never
seen the client before.

I remember speaking at a Women's Function, and explaining
that domestic violence was a process, not an act, and this
was years ago, and everyone was like, huh? What? and today,
I've gone to functions, and hear people repeat what I've said
word for word, because once you hear the fifth story, which
is a repetition of the first, the second, the third, the fourth,
you realise the biggest hurdle you have to get the client over
is the knowledge that thousands of women have experienced
exactly what she is experiencing and every single one of them
thinks, 'no, you don't understand, it's different.'
And then repeats exactly what you heard before.

Every single other woman thinks she's 'different' that he
'really loves' her.

None of them ever come to the realisation that if his marriage
was over, he wouldn't be going home to his wife.

For a woman to give of herself to help other women and men has thoroughly overwhelmed me. She has written so many great posts and given so much valuable information for all of us to share. In fact I have been looking back and reading some of them. How many people would give of themselves like this to help people in need? I respect, applaud and humbly thank her....Thanks Kaylar.....