Thread: Husband w. cancer - no sex

Well, If I lived close to you I would "take care" of you. I'm happily married but if I find someone like you who just wants sex, I would definitely "do you" . No strings attached. The only problem is that I would like to have what I don't have at home. For example, I get plenty of vaginal sex at home. But I like ***, so I always thought that if I meet someone outside marriage, I would definitelly do things I don't do at home. So if you were to meet a guy like me, I would not spare your lovely rear end - be advised - lol.

It would probably be easy to call you a shrew like you said, tell you that since your husband had cancer you should be so considerate, and condemn you ...
But I'm not going to do that.
You have a need that is not being fulfilled in your marriage and when people's needs aren't fulfilled, they have a right to be upset. Talk to him about the severity of your needs and do what you can to take care of them yourself. Is masturbation out of the question? Toys, vibrators? His lack of sex drive isn't his fault; it's just how his hormone flow is going, but you should be able to compromise in the middle without infidelity coming into play. If you can't, then you should consider whether you could spend your life celibate, whether you could justify cheating on your husband, or whether you wanted to divorce him over this.
ThePhotographer ... your answer kind of makes me sad. I read the thread you posted a while back, and I assume those issues have not been resolved? I hope you can find a way to be really happy with your sexual life :/ You seem like such a caring person.

sorry but i think you are being selfish! how would you feel if the situation was reversed?

i bet you would not like the thought of your husband going behind your back.

i would talk to your husband about the situation, remember you married for better or for worse.

if you can not wait then do the decent thing and get a divorce before you sleep with someone else.

Has your husbands hormones been checked? Perhaps his testosterone is low. Also, the after effects of cancer/chemo can cause depression which would lower his libido and shouldn't be overlooked . I think he should go to his reg. doc and get routine checkup. Cancer plays with your head, the treatment plays with your body.

Originally Posted by ThePhotographer

Well, If I lived close to you I would "take care" of you. I'm happily married but if I find someone like you who just wants sex, I would definitely "do you" . No strings attached. The only problem is that I would like to have what I don't have at home. For example, I get plenty of vaginal sex at home. But I like ***, so I always thought that if I meet someone outside marriage, I would definitelly do things I don't do at home. So if you were to meet a guy like me, I would not spare your lovely rear end - be advised - lol.

how can you say you are happily married? if you were happy you would'nt consider cheating on your wife!

Thanks FreeSpirit. I had thought of that a while ago, the testosterone being low, but when I mentioned it he did kind of shrug it off, insisted he was just stressed and tired. We do have a good dialogue about what goes on in the bedroom when we're out of it, which makes it easier. Maybe I should mention it again and now after the chemo it would be something he would be open to. Also part of me thinks I'm having these thoughts in almost an exaggerated response to the stress, but I don't know.

Hotdogg - how would I feel if the situation were reversed, you ask? If for eight years I turned my husband down 80% of the time for sex? I would imagine he'd be cheating on me, that's what I would think. Why would I divorce someone whom I love and adore on every level except for this one issue? The thought of 52 more years of marriage with sex once a month or less is overwhelmingly depressing.

And I know this sounds like a cop-out, but I do really want to talk about it with him but I feel like the stress we have been under is so great that I don't want to give him something else to be upset/depressed/stressed about.

Originally Posted by ThePhotographer

Well, If I lived close to you I would "take care" of you. I'm happily married but if I find someone like you who just wants sex, I would definitely "do you" . No strings attached. The only problem is that I would like to have what I don't have at home. For example, I get plenty of vaginal sex at home. But I like ***, so I always thought that if I meet someone outside marriage, I would definitelly do things I don't do at home. So if you were to meet a guy like me, I would not spare your lovely rear end - be advised - lol.

Holy ****. What kind of response was that? That sounds like a threat more than a promise. You really don't act like you're married or "happily for that matter.

I think I just read the scariest post ever on WH.

i am sorry ladylane, but their is no excuse for cheating! i think your husband would feel alot worse if he found out you were cheating on him.

it even sounds like you are trying to punish him for not giving you sex! it is not his fault that he got sick. i would stick with masterbation, i do not buy that **** that you need a real ****! you can give yourself orgasms.

if you show your man love and affection he is more likely to want to have sex, if you feel that you can not wait then you need to seriously consider if you want to stay married, remember once you cheat the marriage is all ready in BIG trouble and your marriage will big based on lies and deceit which is not good!