Why do men look at porn??

poudrier2083 · 10-14-2007, 03:37 PM

I was in a 4 and half year relationship and the entire time he looked at porn day in and day out.. it made me feel so unattractive and useless and so on....
and now im with someone new and hes everything my ex wasnt/isnt.. hes great, except.. he looks at lesbian porn which bothers me tremendously.... I mean am i not pretty enough or satisfy him enough? i noticed in the beginning we had sex quite frequently and now once a week.... i asked him one time about it and he said hes just curious or bored, but why look at everyday? and he also said he doesnt all the time and he doesnt need to because he has me.. but he does everyday.. he may delete everything on the neet but computers show everything.. and i hate snooping but **** i cant help it! because i know he does i wish hed just be honest or something aobut then maybe id feel alittle better... i dunno... just wish hed want to see me naked as much as he looks at porn and naked girls and girls in bikinis online and so on..

**dr.mansview** · 10-14-2007, 04:32 PM

check out the post "why do husbands watch porn"..it was officially locked out about a week ago but there were over 100 replies to it..chances are you will find many replies that may fit your situation..not trying to " fluff off " your post, or your problem but many posters are no longer answering posts with the word "porn" in it because it has been overdone of late..

**Gia** · 10-14-2007, 05:41 PM

Comment to Poudrier2083:

My soon to be ex-husband used the Porn every day for years, he had absolutely no more energy for sex, romance and passion with me, he was too tired from masturbating to porn, he did not and would not attend family functions, museum's, family days with our children, I always felt like a "single mother" being married to him and his continued use of "porn" cutting me off from sex.( I am an attractive 30 something mother and successful career woman) Why would a man want to masturbate to those PORN women (many are Drag Queens) and many Porn women are infested with AIDS and Herpes. Why would a man want that versus the love, sex, attention from the wife who loves him. As Dr. Phil stated on his program one day, I don't recall his exact words, but it was something like: The dark, dreary world of Porn needs to be stopped. It will destroy wife's lives, marriages, childrens lives etc.My teenagers have no more respect for their father (their choice).The men who engage in the Porn need to own up to it and STOP it!" also Dr. Phil's words.

Couples therapy did not work for us, the psychologists did not work.

I decided to terminate our relationship and focus on myself (completing my Ph.D dissertation),focus on my children and date other men. A woman who focuses on her husband's PORN addiction becomes obsessed with his problem (it is his problem and not yours.) You can not rescue these men nor change them, they will always love the porn more than the wives. These wives condition themselves to become co dependents. Who the Heck needs this, not me!!!I no longer focus on my husband's PORN addiction, I filed for divorce so that my children and I can finally move forward. His Porn addiction destroyed my self value and it took me a great deal of time to finally feel great about myself again. Spouses are supposed to support each other, not intentionally and pre-meditatively hurt them. Read my other posts and threads, it will give you an idea as to what his PORN addiction has done to our marriage, our children etc...I will tolerate it no more!

renfroe1012001 · 11-05-2007, 09:05 PM

hey I know how that is my husband to be does the same thing he isn't interested in me no more and I don't know what I have done but he is able to jackoff to porn every day but doesn't want to be with me. I don't know if I am not good enough for him or what and I don't know what is going on. I am so close to giving up and let the porn win. He would rather be with that then me any day anyway. I don't even know why he keeps me around he has no need for me. I mean I love him to death but I don't want to fight with porn for him. I know that I am not the prettest in the world and I and really starting to wonder if he loves me or not because of it. It hurts me and I really don't want to be hurt like this again. It is getting so old so fast he doesnt' want to be with me ever and never doesn't want to do anything with me. I throw myself at him and he won't even do anything but push me away and all of that. I don't know what I could have done. What should I do?

**dr.mansview** · 11-05-2007, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by renfroe1012001

hey I know how that is my husband to be does the same thing he isn't interested in me no more and I don't know what I have done but he is able to jackoff to porn every day but doesn't want to be with me. I don't know if I am not good enough for him or what and I don't know what is going on. I am so close to giving up and let the porn win. He would rather be with that then me any day anyway. I don't even know why he keeps me around he has no need for me. I mean I love him to death but I don't want to fight with porn for him. I know that I am not the prettest in the world and I and really starting to wonder if he loves me or not because of it. It hurts me and I really don't want to be hurt like this again. It is getting so old so fast he doesnt' want to be with me ever and never doesn't want to do anything with me. I throw myself at him and he won't even do anything but push me away and all of that. I don't know what I could have done. What should I do?

sounds like the porn has already won..give him an ultimatum..it won't get better once you're married, it will probably get worse..

**Fallen1** · 11-05-2007, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dr.mansview

sounds like the porn has already won..give him an ultimatum..it won't get better once you're married, it will probably get worse..

Sadly I have to agree.

sunshine007 · 11-10-2007, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gia

Comment to Poudrier2083:

My soon to be ex-husband used the Porn every day for years, he had absolutely no more energy for sex, romance and passion with me, he was too tired from masturbating to porn, he did not and would not attend family functions, museum's, family days with our children, I always felt like a "single mother" being married to him and his continued use of "porn" cutting me off from sex.( I am an attractive 30 something mother and successful career woman) Why would a man want to masturbate to those PORN women (many are Drag Queens) and many Porn women are infested with AIDS and Herpes. Why would a man want that versus the love, sex, attention from the wife who loves him. As Dr. Phil stated on his program one day, I don't recall his exact words, but it was something like: The dark, dreary world of Porn needs to be stopped. It will destroy wife's lives, marriages, childrens lives etc.My teenagers have no more respect for their father (their choice).The men who engage in the Porn need to own up to it and STOP it!" also Dr. Phil's words.

Couples therapy did not work for us, the psychologists did not work.

I decided to terminate our relationship and focus on myself (completing my Ph.D dissertation),focus on my children and date other men. A woman who focuses on her husband's PORN addiction becomes obsessed with his problem (it is his problem and not yours.) You can not rescue these men nor change them, they will always love the porn more than the wives. These wives condition themselves to become co dependents. Who the Heck needs this, not me!!!I no longer focus on my husband's PORN addiction, I filed for divorce so that my children and I can finally move forward. His Porn addiction destroyed my self value and it took me a great deal of time to finally feel great about myself again. Spouses are supposed to support each other, not intentionally and pre-meditatively hurt them. Read my other posts and threads, it will give you an idea as to what his PORN addiction has done to our marriage, our children etc...I will tolerate it no more!

I can relate to what you went through. I'm in the same situation. I have a great job and two wonderful sons. But I think a divorce right now will hurt them. One is 7 and the other is 3. They love their father dearly. He is a wonderful father, but he is addicted to porn and masterbates all the the time. I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in this issue. Thanks for sharing

**dr.mansview** · 11-11-2007, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshine007

I can relate to what you went through. I'm in the same situation. I have a great job and two wonderful sons. But I think a divorce right now will hurt them. One is 7 and the other is 3. They love their father dearly. He is a wonderful father, but he is addicted to porn and masterbates all the the time. I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in this issue. Thanks for sharing

i have seen many great men being honoured for their achievements in the fields of medicine or music or sports or writing give credit to books they have read or people they have met with shaping them as human beings..but i have never heard one ever give credit to the pornography that they viewed or the affairs that they had making them a better person..pornography pollutes and desensitizes the mind and know matter how a man spins it, it has never made them a better person or made their SO feel more worthwhile..

10-14-2007, 03:37 PM	#1
poudrier2083 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 4	Why do men look at porn?? I was in a 4 and half year relationship and the entire time he looked at porn day in and day out.. it made me feel so unattractive and useless and so on.... and now im with someone new and hes everything my ex wasnt/isnt.. hes great, except.. he looks at lesbian porn which bothers me tremendously.... I mean am i not pretty enough or satisfy him enough? i noticed in the beginning we had sex quite frequently and now once a week.... i asked him one time about it and he said hes just curious or bored, but why look at everyday? and he also said he doesnt all the time and he doesnt need to because he has me.. but he does everyday.. he may delete everything on the neet but computers show everything.. and i hate snooping but **** i cant help it! because i know he does i wish hed just be honest or something aobut then maybe id feel alittle better... i dunno... just wish hed want to see me naked as much as he looks at porn and naked girls and girls in bikinis online and so on..

10-14-2007, 04:32 PM	#2
dr.mansview Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: canada Posts: 1,212	check out the post "why do husbands watch porn"..it was officially locked out about a week ago but there were over 100 replies to it..chances are you will find many replies that may fit your situation..not trying to " fluff off " your post, or your problem but many posters are no longer answering posts with the word "porn" in it because it has been overdone of late.. __________________ a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..

10-14-2007, 05:41 PM	#3
Gia VIP Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 52	My Soon To Be Ex-and his Porn Addiction Comment to Poudrier2083: My soon to be ex-husband used the Porn every day for years, he had absolutely no more energy for sex, romance and passion with me, he was too tired from masturbating to porn, he did not and would not attend family functions, museum's, family days with our children, I always felt like a "single mother" being married to him and his continued use of "porn" cutting me off from sex.( I am an attractive 30 something mother and successful career woman) Why would a man want to masturbate to those PORN women (many are Drag Queens) and many Porn women are infested with AIDS and Herpes. Why would a man want that versus the love, sex, attention from the wife who loves him. As Dr. Phil stated on his program one day, I don't recall his exact words, but it was something like: The dark, dreary world of Porn needs to be stopped. It will destroy wife's lives, marriages, childrens lives etc.My teenagers have no more respect for their father (their choice).The men who engage in the Porn need to own up to it and STOP it!" also Dr. Phil's words. Couples therapy did not work for us, the psychologists did not work. I decided to terminate our relationship and focus on myself (completing my Ph.D dissertation),focus on my children and date other men. A woman who focuses on her husband's PORN addiction becomes obsessed with his problem (it is his problem and not yours.) You can not rescue these men nor change them, they will always love the porn more than the wives. These wives condition themselves to become co dependents. Who the Heck needs this, not me!!!I no longer focus on my husband's PORN addiction, I filed for divorce so that my children and I can finally move forward. His Porn addiction destroyed my self value and it took me a great deal of time to finally feel great about myself again. Spouses are supposed to support each other, not intentionally and pre-meditatively hurt them. Read my other posts and threads, it will give you an idea as to what his PORN addiction has done to our marriage, our children etc...I will tolerate it no more! Last edited by Gia; 10-14-2007 at 09:25 PM.

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11-05-2007, 09:05 PM	#4
renfroe1012001 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: savannah Ga Posts: 20	hey I know how that is my husband to be does the same thing he isn't interested in me no more and I don't know what I have done but he is able to jackoff to porn every day but doesn't want to be with me. I don't know if I am not good enough for him or what and I don't know what is going on. I am so close to giving up and let the porn win. He would rather be with that then me any day anyway. I don't even know why he keeps me around he has no need for me. I mean I love him to death but I don't want to fight with porn for him. I know that I am not the prettest in the world and I and really starting to wonder if he loves me or not because of it. It hurts me and I really don't want to be hurt like this again. It is getting so old so fast he doesnt' want to be with me ever and never doesn't want to do anything with me. I throw myself at him and he won't even do anything but push me away and all of that. I don't know what I could have done. What should I do?