I know that there must be many women who have been in my situation, any advice is appreciated. Last year I began dating a man who had just filed for divorce. I had recently broken my engagement and we found comfort in helping each other. As our relationship proceeds I am finding that I am hurt by his past. I know that I should not hold his past agaisnt him. He went through the phase of throwing everything out that was hers, making a scene every time. She was unfaithful and he asked her to leave the house and was the one who filed the divorce. He says that he was pressured into marrying her (she threatened to leave him) and his family also encouraged him to settle down. I can't help but be hurt by the fact that he loved her enough to want to start a life with her (no matter what he says he must have cared about her.) I realized my mistake before I walked down the isle and I feel that if he had any doubts he would have too. It has been a year, he talks about starting a life with me but there are times I am so hurt by his past that I don't know if I will make it through. Silly, isn't it?

Think of it like this;
all your life you've bought bread in the super market
and this bread tastes the best, so you buy it and
it's your favourite.

Then you come over to my house, and I give you
bread I've just baked, fresh from the oven.

You never tasted this before. You can't believe
bread can taste so good.

Lots of first marriages are built on assumptions;
sometimes on the kind of 'resignation' that this
is the 'best' you can do. Or that this is the 'best'
there is.

It is very few that are like M.E. in "Any Day Now"
who meet their future husband when they are
eight years old, never date anyone else and get
married.

Let it go, take things slow.

Everyone makes mistakes. He's made his, and you made yours in your former engagement. You too loved someone enough to want to marry him; it's just that you didn't do it.
But I think the both of you need time. Let his divorce proceedings end before you get too serious with him ... and sort out your own feelings as well.

Thank you both for responding. I know how silly I sound which is what bothers me the most. I KNOW better. It does make me feel better to hear it from someone else. I really appreciate it.