Originally Posted by LadyLane

Honey, I am very sorry that you have these suspicions. But God (or Mother Nature or whomever) gave us a sixth sense for a reason.

And I'm sorry he seems to do this when you're pregnant. Its not your fault - and you certainly didn't get yourself pregnant.

Trust yours. First of all, that crying nonsense he gives you annoys the **** out of me. It smells of guilt.

Secondly, my friend went through this. If you can afford it, hire a private investigator - my friend said it was the best and worst $500 she ever spent. He got the husband's phone records, the girl's address, phone numbers, her phone records, EVERYTHING. The whole affair was highlighted for her in yellow.

When he goes to sleep, you get that phone from him and call the last number he's dialed. Search it up and down and every way you can. If he wants to be sneaky, you can be sneaky. You need the truth and if you believe you're not getting it from him, you get it your own way. Do not let him know you're going near that phone or he'll just get another one. That's the problem with pre-paids. He can ditch it if you get suspicious.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

In a word NO NO NO NO NO (well that's 5 words).
If you get to the point where you need to spy on your spouse, I think it is over. Problem is that spying isn't perfect - if you look long enough, you will find something, even if it is not true. So I think the spying is just delaying the obvious. Based on what you have already seen, if you don't find anything by spying, won't you just assume you haven't found it yet.

I'm very sorry for the original poster. I agree that her husband's actions sound suspicoius. Remember though: there are things to hide other than cheating - illegal activites for example.

Originally Posted by LadyLane

I just don't agree with that. Cheating ended his last marriage. She feels he's possibly cheated during her first pregnancy - at the very least he had an inappropriate relationship with another woman at that time. He's called her by someone else's name. The cell phone even goes to the bathroom with him - he won't just leave it on the counter or dresser, like most men do at home.

You're telling me you think it's more probable that he's engaged in illegal activity and she shouldn't make herself accessory after the fact? And that's what that cell phone is for? That just sounds far-fetched to me. Even though I'd rather my husband be a government assassin or undercover DEA cop than cheating. But the usual case would be the cheater.

It's not over when you spy. Its over when you cheat, whether you are caught or you confess.

I go through my husband's things from time to time. Better thought of as crazy than dumb, that's my motto.

Originally Posted by LadyLane

Why should she wait for him to walk out the door when she can open it to kick him out instead?

I get the point you're making, but I have to agree to disagree. If she can have concrete evidence BEFORE she goes crazy - because that's a horrible feeling to live with day in and day out - and BEFORE circumstances happen to be just so, so that she "discovers" him somehow, why wouldn't she go for it?

I just think women's intuition, although sometimes wrong, is strong. She thinks he's cheating. I say, get that phone away from him and do your own homework. Enough waiting around. If she's wrong, its nothing more than a load off of her mind. If she's right, she's done being played a fool.