Hey there, I am one of those that worry about my relationship with my soon to be husband and how much he watches porn. Yes I am an insecure person cause of alot of things that had happened in the past. I don't know why he would want to do that? We have a prefect relationship I am open and trustworthy but for some reason he wants to go behind my back and look at porn. I don't know why he would want to do that I bend over backwards to make him happy and we have a good sex relationship on top of that. It makes me feel like I am not doing my job in the sex part if he has to go and do that. I know that I am not the prettest person. I don't know if I am disatisfing him or what is going on. We just moved in together a while ago and sence then our sex life as died down alot. I don't know why but he doesn't seem that interested in me and more interested in the porn. I don't know why?
I know that masturbation is normal with guys and all of that but why can't they just take the time to make love and get closer to the female in there life other then just doing it there self? I mean at times I am so willing and I throw myself at him then he pushes me away from him. And I will look at his computer and I seen that he looks at so much porn and that is about it. I kid him about it but it really hurts me so much. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me any more. I am to the point where I think that I should just give him his ring back and move on sence he wants his porn and I am not doing my part it seems like. It hurts so bad. I am confused and don't know what to do anymore and I am dieing for someone to give me advice on this matter.

Thanks whoever wants to help and I don't care how hard you make it sounds and you can ask anything in the book I will answer.

Thanks,
Jessica

Opinion from a man here.

Your SO watching porn doesn't bother me in itself. It is quite common - although many people object to it. I also don't want this to turn into another of the endless Porn: good or bad threads.

But - his seeming to be more interested in porn than in having sex with you does seem to me to be a problem. Please don't be offended by the following questions, I'm just trying to understand the situation. Most likely it is not anything you are doing, or not doing, and is entirely his problem but:

Does he have "performance" problems when he has sex?

Is there something he wants in bed that you do not want to do, or vice versa?

Are there other problems with the relationship - stress over money, arguements over future plans, etc?

When you say you "throw yourself at him" - are you really obvious - some men might not notice subtle hints.

Are both of you experienced with sex, or is this new? I can't tell anything about your age. If you are new, maybe there are new things you can try to make it more fun for both.

Is the porn you have seen on his computer standard stuff, or lots of unusual fetishes?

Are their religious issues for either of you with sex before marriage?

Again, I expect it is his problem, not yours, but if I know more, maybe I can suggest something.

Sometimes he has performance problems but not all of the time.

No I do everything that he wants

No we have no problems at all.

Yes I am really obvious and he just pushes me away

Yes we are both experienced in sex.

both

no

Sorry, really don't know what to suggest. He may have an "addiction" to porn. I hesitate to use that term since it sometimes gets applied to anyone who watches porn, but if he is watching porn rather than sleeping with you, that sounds like a real problem.

It doesn't sound like it is your fault at all. (I'm mean: I'd say so if I thought it was). You say you are not the prettiest person, but if he loves you, then you are beautiful to him. (not just romantic junk - its really true - I know that most people would probably consider my wife at 45 to be less attractive than when I met her at 18, but to me, honestly she is as beautiful as ever).

Maybe someone else here will have a suggestion.

thanks for your help. I didn't want this to be one of those that go on and on about the porn deal I just wanted advice on what I should do.
Thanks for you help