Smilenow

Hi. I just want to know what you think about a husband at a strip club. I don't believe he would cheat or anything but i don't want him getting a lap dance. But only because i don't want the girl to feel him if he is aroused. i don't want any other girl being proud of herself because she turns him on. Is this a weird feeling?

BTW I am going on the same night to the bachelorette party and he seems to not worry about the strippers and me. That kind of makes me upset. do you have any suggestions as to why? i should be happy he trusts me (not to mention his sister will be there) but it still bothers me.

EmotionsRvalid

I'm a man and I've never been to a strip club. I have co workers who frequent them. I've been invited several times. My wife has even cheated on me which to many would be a valid enough excuse to do that sort of thing. The bottom line is that it's getting sexually stimulated with another person. Is that not on some level a sexual relationship? Marriage is ordained of God to be between one man and one woman. Sex is a strengthening bond between a husband and wife. Life, marriage, parenthood is awesome and beautiful. It can all also be hard and trying at times. Sex is an amazing way for a wife to show she appreciates and loves her man for the sacrifices he makes for the family. It's a way for the man to show his wive how much he adores, loves, and cherishes her. When sex becomes entertainment to a person and not what it's intended to be by God what do you think the person will do when they are bored for entertainment?
What do you call a person who always needs one more drink before it's back to realities of life?- alcoholic. What do you call a person who needs a substance more than their own integrity?-addict. Sex is one of those things that is POWERFUL. You feel upset because you should be. The sexual health of your future relationship is being compromised and threatened. If you consent now, your consent will be assumed later too. Stick to your guns! Lead out with your heart. Stay close to the Spirit of the Lord and he'll stay close to you! Wickedness never was happiness.

Little

I understand your viewpoint, but I don't agree. I view it the same way I do porn:
In moderation, it's not the same thing as infidelity. It's not going to take the place of me, nor does it "work as well" as I do. It's not a means to the same end.
I think the bachelor[ette] party is more for the friends than the spouse. "Okay, guys, this is your last crazy outing with me, so let's make it SUPER-crazy."

Fallen1

I definitely would not be agreeable with my boyfriend going to a club and I might even punch him if he did.

However, I agree with Little in that I would not consider going to one as cheating.

Smilenow

I don't see it as cheating. I just don't want him to get a lap dance. Not even because of him. more because of the girl. like i said i would hate for some stripper to think I got this guy buy the b*lls. and i worked at a strip club when i was 21 so i know that is what most strippers think. maybe that is my problem that i worked there and know what dirty W***** work there. I know they just think their s**t don't stink. and i don't want my husband contributing to that. I don't know why i think this way.

Fallen1

I think I understand what you are trying to say.

My experience:

I went to a strip club a couple of years ago with a couple of male friends of mine just because I wanted to see what it was all about. I wasn't impressed, with the atmosphere or the girls for that matter - of course this was not one of the clubs that you would consider a "high class" establishment either. I sat back and watched the males there, how they acted, and frankly some of them made me sick on the stomach. There was this one in particular that stood close to the stage and just the way he was looking at the girl gave me the creeps.

LadyLane

I always wanted to go to a strip club but haven't ever made it there.

I don't think its a big deal if my hubby went - or goes, which he hasn't since before he met me. Some of his friends liked to go as part of their bachelor party night/weekend.

I only think of those girls as one thing: working. They want that dollar, five, ten, twenty. They don't care about our guys in the least bit. Its also their job to - according to guys I know - put a fair amount of pressure on a guy in front of his friends to get a lap dance - he looks like an idiot if he refuses her.

I say, let her bump and grind on him. I'll just throw his outfit away when he gets home!

And I have been to a few of those male-stripper nights when I was younger - those guys were GROSS. Cute, but sweaty and oily and each one of them was making out with one or more girls in succession after their performance was over. Completely grossed me out. Blech.

bellasmom

I'd trust your husband, but NOT THE STRIPPERS! Let me say that I have been close friends with many strippers, and they get in where they fit in- and that's in your man's pants. They make money teasing sex, and a lot more money having it with the men they tease. I would call off my own wedding if I found out my husband to be was having a stripper at his bachelor party. Im very conservative though!

Smilenow

I know exactly what you mean. that is why i don't trust the strippers. the one good thing about my husband is that he has too much pride to pay for sex. He wouldn't even pay for a lap dance. But he would accept if someone else paid for the lap dance.

misskitty3

I just got married two months ago, and my girlfriends surprised me with a bacholerette party...we went to a gay/drag-queen club! hubby would've preferred it if i went to a strip club! his guys didn't throw him a party though and that made me sad. at least your guy is getting a special night out with his friends...

its funny cause this weekend, its my best friend's birthday and she wants to go to an all female, full nudity strip club. she is a little homophobic so i don't even know why she wants to go, but that doesn't really matter.

i asked hubby if he cared that i went cause he is also the type that will not give his money away to some naked lady just cause she approaches him. (i can do that just fine, and most of his money goes towards our life together anyway) he said that was fine. i asked him if he wanted to go, and he said ' no!' but then he said, "if i went, you would get mad at me for looking"

now i thought that was ridiculous at first, cause if i'm looking what does it matter if he is? but after thinking about what it would be like if we were there together, i know i'd be all over him "claiming my terrritory" and neither of us would have fun.

but, i have found that if your guy does go to a strip club and get sexually aroused, does he do it with the stripper? or does he come home to you? some guys even think of their wives when getting a lap dance because they want their wife to do that for them... so when he comes home, make him shower and you two just might have the best sex ever!

my thoughts...who cares who or what turns people on? as long as the deed is done with the one who matters.

__________________
Miss Kitty