Thread: Is he too controlling?

Originally Posted by TWills32

I've talked to a lot of friends and family about my relationship with my husband, but I feel like I need more advice. I have been married for a bit over 3 years. I will try to make this as short as possible.

I feel as though my husband has a control issue. I will give some recent examples or ones that stick out in my head. On New Years Eve, I was invited to spend it at my sister's place. My husband went somewhere else instead of coming with me. I wasn't going to break my plans because he was being ridiculous about it, so I went. He later came to the party to come and get me at around 2am, saying I was out far too late and should have been home at midnight. I'm 24, midnight is early for me! Plus it was New Years Eve. He took me from the party and made me go home. He then gave me a curfew.

I called him from the mall last week to ask if I could get a cell phone share plan with my sister. He said, "Do what you want to do", so I got the plan. I got home later, and he flipped out about it. He had changed his mind. After hours of fighting, he said I had to take the phones back. He wasn't going to change his mind for me, because he feels cell phones plans are ******, I can't have one.

I play video games once in a while. I play an online game, but not excessively. I am in college, and getting straight A's, so obviously it's not a problem. I also don't neglect him for it. I only play when he's not home, or sleeping (he works early). This has been a cause of many fights. He thinks it's ****** to pay monthly for a game, but I am paying for it. I work, too. But because he thinks it's ******, I have to bend at his will and probably cancel it next time he brings it up.

It also wasn't until after we were married that he said he only wanted 2 children. He knew I wanted 3. He won't compromise for me. He says he will get a vasectomy after our second child (we don't have children yet), even though I so badly want 3.

He also has anger problems. If I don't bend as his will, he threatens divorce and/or yells at me until I cry.

Am I in an abusive relationship?

Hi TWills, please read my thread.

I actually wanted 1 child, as i was 37, and my ex-husband assured me of this until the wedding ring went on the finger, then it was no way.

I was never told where to go, however, i was told how to clean a fridge, how to make sure the exhaust fan was on, how to clean the furniture, with held sex, all sorts.

So, yes, you are in a controlling relationship and the more control he has the more he will add to it.

Sorry, but this is not good for you.

I have dinner guests so can't finish and i know that i am hurrying, sorry but i will get back again.

Take care.