Thread: My mental health

Originally Posted by jen4625

I have been married for almost two years now, and it has been riddled with negative happenings. It has gotten to a point where my husband and I have sat down, looked at each other and said we were better friends than a married couple. Sometimes we talk about getting a divorce and still remaining room mates because we enjoyed doing that, with no strings or anything.
Within the first month of our wedding he and I had a fight and he ended up throwing his ring out the car window and it was lost. I forgave him for it but it is always on the back of my mind. If you can understand, a ring is symbolic of our marriage and he just seemed to throw our marriage out the window. From that point, it hurts everytime we fight, because he will threaten ending our marriage or try to kick me out of the house everytime we fight, which happens at least twice a week. Then he will come back and apologize and say he didn't mean it. I think the damage is done already regardless if he meant it or not.

I can truly relate to this, although he added, emotional black male and verbal abuse, but the day he threw the rings at me and that look in his eye, i said, well, i can do this ... Seeya... And i did.

Sometimes, we are best friends, in fact my ex and i were, there was trust, no room for wondering about another man, woman, when he had so much fun, he'd glow in telling me, only i was the wife, you know the one that cooks, cleans, tries and so i had nothing to tell him that made me glow. The sex went as well, after we married, and the friendship set in.

God, he still till today, looks at $$ , looks at what we could have had $$ but that's because i MADE IT, then he says, gee our friends are so happy we worked it out, when we tried again..... But when i said, what is it that you love about me, he said: And i'm actually not bad, ex model, but he said, You are beautiful and intellegent..... ( what?)

Not i love you, all that you are, that you do, etc etc etc.

Sometimes we confuse our "sole mates" with our best of friend"...

If the passion is not there, the desire, the lust, the "look" the "want" the i can't live with out you you are my being, the sex?

Truly, then you were friends trying a "MARRIAGE", it's not a bad thing, we all get confused....

But sounds to me, like me, it was based on friendship, where mine tried to control, to keep, put me down to keep, yours is at least just plain honest.


XX much love.
I don't know where the line is. I don't think I should just let this happen everytime we fight. My mental stability is shattered everytime he says it, and I finally told him next time he threatened me I would really leave. Where is that line? Am I being selfish? Is this normal? Is it worth divorcing over?

You deside, friends you can count on your fingers and are very important, maybe he is one. Not so bad, compared to your future.....