Thread: My husband watching hiding masturbation videos

I feel so sad and mad on him!!!!
I don't know what a **** he needs? I'm very sexy fit woman and very smart as well. I love him so much!!!
I should admit that when i was single i watched XXX videos, but sinse i met him I have never even thought about it/!!!! I didn't even look at another men!!!
I absolutely love SEX and everything about it, I'm very playfull in bed and very honest as well in my fantasies. I thought that my husband is too. However, sinse i left my country, my family and my friends for him and flue to England, i found out that all this magic and clean LOVE between us is not so pure!!!
It was so unexpected and hurmfull to find after couple of weeks of our marriage that he was watching hiding masturbation videos!!!! WHILE I WAS IN BED!!!!
That so discusseted me and herted me!!!
I tried to tolk, but he was shouting at me, that i made him feel little after i cought him and everything is over! I was in shoke!
It is not enough to jerking off while your sexy wife just a hand away he needed to hurt me more!!!
Then we spoke about it and i explained that i don't understand why does he need it, when he have me. And how much it makes me feel myself like i'm not good enough for him!!! Ohh God that was so terrible for me.!!!
So he said that he understand and he won't do it again. And what do you think??!!! Now 2 yrs gone sinse then and time to time i keep finding a links in his laptop, files etc. and they are all the same: hiding masturbation. He is sick i think!
But this morning i woke up and found out that he deleted the History from yesterday=))) Does he realy thinks that i'm so ******???LOL
Why would you delete the history if you doen't have anything to hide from me???
But i'm so tired to tolk about it with him... I just don't know what to do.
I wanted to share his hobbie with him, but he didn't response for this. I tried to explain my feelings. But nothing!!! Still watching!
So often i jumping at him, because i'm horny and he is claiming that he is hungry bla bla bla and at the same night watching s*** like that!!!
I'm confused!!!
I need healthy sex life with my husband!! I love making love to him!!!
I'm jus scared that i will get fed up of his attention to the pictures rather than to myself! And i will find somebody elese!
Because if i'm not happy in any big aspects of relationship i will go away.
Anyway it is seems that he fed up of me(( Why then be with me??? Why he cannot just let me go and maybe find someone who would love to spend his time with me in bed or wherever but not with the monitor!!!

I am new to this so please bear with me. I am so glad that you shared your story my husband is spending more time looking at porn on the web then even considering looking at me and I am at a breaking point. I have almost become obsested with checking his history to see what we looked at today. Amazingly enough he never wants me. I feel your pain i am no quite sure what to do about it. I haven't even let him know, I know because I am affraid that he will start deleteing his history and I will have no idea what he is doing. Let me know what you decide to do. As for advise I have none i'm in the same boat. Sorry and good luck.