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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts commonsense is on a distinguished road
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    Default picking an engagement ring advice

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    Is it bad manners for a girl to want to participate in picking out the wedding ring? Do guys get offended by this? What if you don't like the ring for whatever reason. Should you say something. A friend asked me and I'm not sure what to say?

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts FionaDiaz is on a distinguished road FionaDiaz's Avatar
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    I never got an engagement ring, so if a man gives you one by surprise I think you should just be thankful you got one. However, if he asked you to marry him without a ring ask him when you (both) can go ring shopping. Ask him upfront if both of you can decide on the ring, remember, if you say "yes" than you are planning on spending the rest of your life with him... don't get shy now!!

    I know that in Guatemala you get a better deal if you buy the engagement and wedding rings together, and it's perfectly fine for a woman to pick out her wedding rings.

    My husband and I used some rings that cost $2, we might get some real ones someday but that's just not something that's important to us.

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    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by commonsense View Post
    Is it bad manners for a girl to want to participate in picking out the wedding ring? Do guys get offended by this? What if you don't like the ring for whatever reason. Should you say something. A friend asked me and I'm not sure what to say?
    I'm assuming you mean the topic " Engagement ring" not wedding ring.

    I think it's a guy thing, to surprise with what he has chosen to be honest, we can always have it re-arranged at a later date..

    But, why not advise her to give him hints, hun, i must say, i saw this ring in the window today, with clusters that sit up high, it was so elegant, feminine like me, and laugh...

    I inherited 3 large diamonds, set in gold with scrolls, sweet, large but i really wanted clusters sitting high... He said i could change it it didn't bother him, that was after a couple years first, of course i will be giving it back but i could have opened my mouth a little when he said that he was designing it at the beginning and we both would have been happy, he designed it, i got the style that i wanted with his input...

    CW
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    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
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    Junior Member plainjane5 is on a distinguished road
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    Default Straight out!

    Well in my case I know that I am a very up front and straight out person and my partner knew this as well. In our relationship we handled issues in this manner as well.

    So when we were talking about getting married and the engagement arrangements came up, I told him exactly how I felt. I knew that I was very picky with my ring and that I had always dreamt about "my wedding". He told me that he would like to be part of the process too. And so together we agreed that we would shop for it together and pick it out together and that he would surprise me with the question. which is exactly how it happened. I didn't even know that he had bought the ring the same day and popped the question almost a month later! It was great and everyone was happy.

    Honestly I've always believe that communicaiton is the key in every realtionship. I don't think you can get any minus points for letting your partner know how you feel.

    Good luck to your friend!

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    Junior Member Pinkstarluv is on a distinguished road Pinkstarluv's Avatar
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    I think it's more then fine for a couple to pick out their rings, but if the guy really wants to pick it out by himself, LET HIM! Think about it this way, if you made time and cooked him what you thought would be an amazing dinner and he said "oh this dish needs more blah blah and maybe next time cook is longer" It would hurt your feelings, right? Thought so. The ring is coming from his heart and i would rather wear something he picked out for me any day then what i wanted. I wouldn't give a **** what it looked like because your not getting married to, loving and cherishing that ring for the rest of your life. Is your marriage going to end because something happens to that ring? God, i hope not. I love my boyfriend enough to accept anything that he is willing to give me from his heart and not wish for something else or better.. Don't be ungrateful! Be proud that someone loves you and wants to be with you and *hopefully* only you for the rest of their life.

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    Administrator Little is on a distinguished road Little's Avatar
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    If I didn't like my ring, I would have to say something. I can't have an ugly thing on my fingers; it would no longer be a symbol of our love and would turn into a symbol of our lack of communication.
    Early in our relationship (oh, that honeymoon phase ) my boyfriend and I talked about engagement rings. I've also left instructions and pictures with two friends he's liable to ask. He knows that I want an emerald ring with diamonds set in white gold, and if that's not what I get, I will be sorely disappointed. (And why shouldn't he get that? It would be cheaper than a diamond engagement ring.)
    But then again, my ex-fiancé's ring was so gorgeous it almost made me cry and was the kind of ring I'd never pick out for myself.
    So even if you find the kind of guy who wants to pick it out himself, it may work out well for you.

  7. #7
    Private.Flangeamin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little View Post
    If I didn't like my ring, I would have to say something. I can't have an ugly thing on my fingers; it would no longer be a symbol of our love and would turn into a symbol of our lack of communication.
    Early in our relationship (oh, that honeymoon phase ) my boyfriend and I talked about engagement rings. I've also left instructions and pictures with two friends he's liable to ask. He knows that I want an emerald ring with diamonds set in white gold, and if that's not what I get, I will be sorely disappointed. (And why shouldn't he get that? It would be cheaper than a diamond engagement ring.)
    But then again, my ex-fiancé's ring was so gorgeous it almost made me cry and was the kind of ring I'd never pick out for myself.
    So even if you find the kind of guy who wants to pick it out himself, it may work out well for you.
    Little...you carnt go wrong with emeralds and diamonds ...my birthstone but for my 21 mum got me aa rally beautiful emerald and diamond ring , set in gold One single diamond ..but its lovely and the emeralds set all around the circle . Now its a good idea , because you can add to this with a bracelet and earrings of the same and just pieces ..My mum has a lovely engagement ring , three diamonds to pass on ...so if i ever got engaged i would go for a single ...diamond ...but it does depend on how much you want to spend ...from a couple of thou pound to under a thou ...worth getting a nice one ...as they say they are forever .....i would prefer to go with a guy to choose , i think its a once in a lifetime moment ..and also i have a really small hand and finger so you do need a ring to suit small hand i mean the design and not the diamond ....but saying all that it depends on the situation ...if it was a surprise i would think how wonderful and give him a smackeroo !!

  8. #8
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts commonsense is on a distinguished road
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    Default engagement ring advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Little View Post
    If I didn't like my ring, I would have to say something. I can't have an ugly thing on my fingers; it would no longer be a symbol of our love and would turn into a symbol of our lack of communication.
    Early in our relationship (oh, that honeymoon phase ) my boyfriend and I talked about engagement rings. I've also left instructions and pictures with two friends he's liable to ask. He knows that I want an emerald ring with diamonds set in white gold, and if that's not what I get, I will be sorely disappointed. (And why shouldn't he get that? It would be cheaper than a diamond engagement ring.)
    But then again, my ex-fiancé's ring was so gorgeous it almost made me cry and was the kind of ring I'd never pick out for myself.
    So even if you find the kind of guy who wants to pick it out himself, it may work out well for you.

    Thank you all for the wonderful advice! Looks like opinions are split right down the middle. Interesting.

  9. #9
    Junior Member oswald99 is on a distinguished road
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    hi there,

    I'm a newbie to this forum. Well , Such a cool discussion is going there. So many are sharing their views and giving advices on Engagement ring. It is really good to see that. I'm getting a lot here. Anyways thanks a lot for sharing such a beautiful topic.

  10. #10
    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    And welcome, but this thread was in 2008, October, long time ago, check the left hand side of when people posted.

    Thread closed.
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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