Any replies is better than no replies...

EJackson, I was married to a guy that had the same problem.
I know that when you first know he is doing it, you don't really realize the full extent of it. Later I found out that he had whole collections of CD's that he had downloaded from the net. He stored them in his computer room and he felt that he had possession of the women in those films.
In other words he was collecting intimate times with these women. I looked at one of them when he was not home and it was disgusting. He was a paying member of many sites including live web-cam sites, he was on his computer as much as 6 hrs a day. It's a sickness and you need to save yourself. I know what this is doing to your self-worth, you must get out and if you still want another man after this, find one to whom you are the most important thing in his life.
Needless to say I am divorced. send me a PM if you want.

My guy works away and has a lap top full of porn to get him by, so to speak lol. I suspect he also watches it somnetimes when he is at home and I'm at work but it doesn't bother me. We have an amazing sex life and I know he adores me.

I think your issue is not so much about the porn, although i can see it upsets you. I think the real issue is that he doesn't respect your feelings and is putting his needs far further up on the priority list.

Talk to him about it in those terms, not about his porn but your feelings. and you can't help the way you feel. He may be getting a kick out of not just the porn but also that it is making you so jealous. who knows just a thought.

Remember though that the porn is about him, it doesn't meen you are lacking in any way.

Good luck with it all. tt

Thanks, I never looked at it that way, so the next time it comes up I will be sure to direct the convo in that direction. I feel that I am doing good well lately its not bothering me as much because I avoid even talking about to him, I try not to even think about it.

we all have built into us mechanisms that are designed to protect us from potential harm.

we also have the ability to ignore those mechanisms - often to our detriment.

the red flag you're experiencing about your husband expending his sexual energy on something other than his wife is there for a reason. it's like you are holding your hand on a hot stove - and something's telling you to move it.

you don't have to, but if you don't, you'll disfigure yourself & experience a lot of pain.

there's nothing harmless about what porn can do to your marriage & your husband, especially.

my advice, listen to your intuitive urge to deal with this.

i promise you, it won't go away. you might choose not to look at it, but it will NOT disappear.

and odds are, if you do ignore it, you'll be forced to look at it one day & it will look much uglier than it does now.

i wouldn't tell you to blow up & leave. it's a problem, that's all. you & your husband with both have lots of them over the duration of your marriage. treat it as such, no less - but no more.

i am havi the same problem atleast you get sex i get it maybe once a week if that. he would rather watch porn. n he gets up for work n watches it thats the first thing he does. and then he waits for me to go to sleep n he watches it. i cant take it anymore. i really cant give u any advise i just wanted you to know that i am in the same boat as you. his has excuse not to have sex with me either and the biggest one is i am 2 tired but then yet he goes watchin porn. it hurt my feeling and i cry about it. i have refused to have sex with him when he wants it. he says he dont care how i feel abbout it that he is a grown man and he will do what he wants he never did it tho when we was dating it just these last few months. but just wanted to let yuou know that you are not alone.

try to get to a counselor - then try to get him there.

if you can stop accusing & blaming him, even though you have every right to do so, you might be able to uncover - together - that he really is NOT happy in his addiction to porn.

but as long as you point at him, you'll drive him deeper into this retreat.