Ok I know that this a topic that always comes up so I searched but couldn't find any threads up to date. I am a newlywed it has been 3mths now, about 8 months ago I found out that by husband was watching porn on the computer like everyday. So I said something to him about it and of course he made like it wasnt him. He tried to put it off on my nephews, that has their own computer at home. So I blew it off then he started deleting the history after he used the computer. So I said something else to him about it one day when I knew it was him for sure, and he tried to down play it like it was nothing. As time when on I would always check the history to see if there was any porn, and what do you know just about everytime I would check there would always be some there. I tried explaining to him how it make me feel but we always end up fussing and never really talk it out. So one night while laying in bed I told him that I had to get somethings off my chest and I just wanted him to listen, and I told him just how I felt, and at that time we werent married and he promised me that he would stop and he said that he never looked at it the way I explained. I told him that I understand that he had been watching it before we met and all the time when he was in Iraq, but somethings have to come to an end. So it stopped for about a week or two but then he went right back at it. Now we are married and I know that he is still looking at it and it is driving me CRAZY!!!!! I dont know what to do, there are some nights that he dont even touch me but as soon as he get up before work he is on the computer doing what.....LOOKING AT PORN....when he comes home from work he get himself something to drink and go straight to the computer and before he gets off he has looked at porn. It just tick me off to know that he is still watching it after he promised he wouldnt. I sent him an email telling him that I was done trying to explain myself to him and that I felt like him watching porn was going to cause a problem in our marriage and that I wasnt going to say nothing else to him about it. And how about he said nothing to me about the email and is still watching porn EVERYDAY & NIGHT!!!! I feel like it would be different if he tried to watch it with me but he hides it and lie to me about even watching it. I really dont know what to do, I dont have anyone that I can talk to about it because I feel really shame. So please can someone help me understand!!! Am I wrong or right for feeling this way, or did I need to just get over myself....I dont know I am at a lost. Any advice is better than none!!!!

Well, it certainly is a highly discussed topic so i am sure you'll receive many replies.

All i want to say is, if you feel it would be different if you watched it together then:-

Go for shock tactic. Go buy a Video, bring it home put it on when he's expecting your watching a movie together and watch it and see if your included or can be included in it, how you both feel watching it.


I do feel if people do things before their married and "asked not to when", that's your priogrative to do so, but if it was there before, it's obvious that it's going to be there after.. Whilst disrespectful in one way, as he promised, it's obviously something he can't and doesn't want to change about his life before you.

When it affects your sex life ( 3 months married ) then it's an issue for sure.

Have you asked him what it is he likes about watching them?

CW

Yes I have asked more than one time and it has always been different reasons, one was it was just videos, two was that was all I had to do overseas, three I really like anal and your not really into so I watch it.....lol....so I really dont know what to believe anymore.

As far as our sex life we have sex twice a week sometimes three times, but the porn seems to be an everyday thing for him, and there have been times that I ask for it just to see what he is going to say and he say that he is to tired but have aready been sitting on the computer looking at porn.

How funny when they like to put the blame on us hey!~ lol... regarding Anal,three different reasons..

I never see a problem with "me time", but daily.. Well if your together 3 times a week, that's not too bad....

I think shock him still, put one on and watch it... Let him walk in and see you doing it...

Careful though, if it gets out of hand and addictive and he's not wanting to spend anytime with you, you have a serious problem.



CW

You probably won't get many replies, because this conversation has been had ad nauseum. It's all been covered, read through past threads (use the search feature, it doesn't matter if it's not that recent, the topic is still the same). Then find someone who says what you want to hear and then agree with them.

I don't think anyone has to agree with her specifically to agree that there is a problem here. Anytime a guy prefers porn to his girl/actual sex there is a problem - whether it be an addiction problem, whether it be an attraction problem, whether it be a boredom problem. There is a problem of some sort.

My suggestion, sit down have a heart to heart with him. Tell him how you feel, ask him how he feels. Try to come up with a compromise that both of you are agreeable to, that way neither one of you has to be the one to "give in" so to speak and become bitter.

But yes there are multiple threads on this issue. You can search and read the many thoughts/problems others have had.

Doesn't that go for any topic? It seems that a lot of issues, i reply to for instance, are repeated situations, just different person and time... And, yep, it's scary when 10 say one thing, 1 says another, and the threader chooses the 1, instead of the 10... But then they are not really looking for an answer, rather someone to agree with them and then they're gone.

It's a strange place this Internet thing.

I'ts like a box of chocolates.... Note how some are not eaten? They actually get passed around the box and keep sitting there, amongst all the different ones... Obviously they're the best chocolate from the box, a thinker.... lol...

CW