Thread: Cheating

It sounds to me like you really don't belond in a marriage, at the moment anyway. Best to call it a day, and shag as many men as you want, then maybe settle down afterwards.

I don't find it normal to want to cheat on your spouse. I agree with the others, you shouldn't be married.

While I agree that perhaps your marriage was not the best idea in the first place, you are married now so depending on your personal beliefs, you may just be stuck with it.
You need to get to the root of WHY you want to cheat. It's probably not as simple as just thinking that your hubby's coworker is sexy.
Is your husband away a lot? Do you feel like he's neglecting you? Do you feel inadequate in your marriage?
Personally, I'm a "revenge cheater;" when I feel slighted I go out and kiss/fool around with somebody. At least I did until I found somebody who made me want to be faithful.

Here I have a different experience: I actually feel tempted frequently. There will be someone I like, and that like can mutate into lust. I think though, it is the fantasy, not the reality that I find appealing. The fantasy of a sudden wild encounter - with this fantasy partner who is everying I would like in bed, and nothing I wouldn't is appealing - and this fantasy can sort of sneak on top of my image of the real person.

When I think of the reality though, it is very different. The deception, the betrayal of someone who trusts me, the secrets, the new person will not really be everything I could desire, there is the risk of STDs and pregnance - unless we are so covered in latex as to take the fun out of it anyway.

So far the fantasy has always stayed fantasy. One time I even very politely turned down a proposition from someone I found very desirable (in fantasy). I've not initiated anything in several situations where I clearly had opportunity. But - it is a very dangerous game - sometime I might fall.

Now that things are improving between me an my wife, I think the risk is very small. Back when things were at their worst though - I may have come very very close.

Originally Posted by jen4625

Sometimes I feel like I want to cheat on my husband. I always change my mind when I talk it out in my head, but IT is sooo hard to be faithful. I guess it does not help that I am attracted to a co-worker of his. I told my husband the other day that if I had known the co-worker before my husband and I got involved that I would have been all over him (regardless of the fact that he is married). Anyway, the thoughts have really got a hold on me. So I was wondering what everyone on here thought, or if those feelings you all feel, and has anyone ever acted on it? I guess I need some reassurance that my marriage is more important than the idea of cheating.

First of all, if it is hard to be faithful, then it's obvious it has gone further than simple fantasies. Everyone has at least one sexual fantasy that does not contain their partner, that doesn't mean it becomes difficult to keep yourself from acting on it.

The fact that you say that you would sleep with a man regardless to the fact that he is married makes me think you have absolutely no respect for marriage.

And if you need some reassurance that your marriage is more important than the idea of cheating... then you really don't belong in this marriage. Don't hurt your husband by being unfaithful, and don't risk his health because you can't keep it in your pants.