Well, it's sudden but I know it's right...
my bf and I got engaged about a week ago. We've known each other a year today, and we've only been together about 5 months, but I've never felt so sure about a decision in my life. Not even my decision to leave my ex, and I was pretty sure about that!
However, this is new territory for me. I've never really thought about sharing my life with someone as their "wife" before; also for the first time I'm seriously pondering not just if, but WHEN I want to start a family and where exactly I want to do that...so many new issues, and yet I"m still dealing with all the old ones
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone out there had any advice? Things that you may have done or not done at this stage of the relationship that might be helpful for me? I really want this relationship to last the rest of my life, but marriage is a whole new world to me. I've done the cohabitation thing, but this is totally different.
Okay, here's a direct question then: despite the fact that we are engaged I am still not moving in. I am sort of half moved in but I am renting a room off of a friend as well. I sort of feel like moving in together will cheapen the experience of marriage. Any opinions on that? Is it logical to keep two dwellings or am I just letting bad past experiences haunt me? Thanks everyone!

I don't think it has anything to do with the past, or it shouldn't. If this man makes you feel everything you have ever wanted to feel in a relationship, then past experiences need to be kicked to the curb. As "past".

I lived with my ex-husband before we married and established all the bad habits, at least i knew what i was dealing with therefore.

But, truthfully, i then felt married.. before i walked down the isle, although we lived in my house, and once married, lived in his, so at least it was different.

I love the idea of "sharing bodes", it's kind of independant, whilst being together and i think a great way to go.

As for pondering about family, where, how many, when.

As you are getting married, you both need to discuss this together so you know where your heading and what both partners want.

I did discuss this with my ex-husband and we decided on having 1 child, mind you i was an older bride.

Strangly, once married, out came the can't afford, not bringing a child into this world, etc? So make sure you both are 100% set on what you want and know it, as mine did a little fib so it seems, perhaps that's why i am separated, heading for divorce....

CW

Well, right now we are pretty much living together, I"m just not ready to give up all my space because I know this will be the last chance I have to have my own space, if that makes sense. I'm actually more hesitant to move in with him because I know that he will be the last roommate I ever have! As far as the having a family thing, we talked about that before marriage and, as he already has one child, I know that he is an amazing father and a solid person. I feel very confidant about this decision but I also know that life doesn't always (in fact rarely does!) go the way you plan for it too. I feel ready for whereever this road may take me; after all I will be taking it with my best friend. I thank-you for your advice though...your ex sounds a great deal like my ex and I know how shattering people like that are. I am lucky that I found someone so completely the opposite of the a** I used to date, but yes, there is still a little fear in my heart because do you ever fully heal from a broken heart?
Thanks again for your words